becoming.

by Renaada Williams

i realized i am nothing with you even though i still want to stay

i am waiting at the end of the promise you forgot you made.

do you know what it feels like to constantly get pushed out while being asked to stay?

i stayed longer longer than i should have trying to teach you how to love me when i didn't even know what that meant.

i cried myself to sleep while you lay next to me unbothered unaware and uninterested

i tucked myself in again that night and told myself i didn't need a goodnight kiss or empty i love yous because dreams will be had regardless of this nightmare.

i like a fool stayed waiting for the day you would do something different

we have been back at square one at least one hundred times already.

love changed me it made me feel like

i should be second it made me forget i had needs it made me compromise myself and ultimately it broke my heart

you made it impossible to speak without being interrupted without sounding like i was not smart enough without ever feeling like you were listening

there is love out here for me.

you are not this strong to be weak for someone else.

pay them no mind when they say you aren't good enough. only a fool can hold a diamond in their bare hand and not be amazed.