Each time, the German forces were overwhelmed by vast superiority of numbers and weaponry, especially in artillery and attack from the air. I had a feeling of great despair, doubting that we could ever resist this enemy that had such machines and such resources. I was in a bad condition, physically and psychologically. The morphine and amphetamine were declining, I think, in my system, leaving me weakened and confused. The pain in my back, my chest and my leg was very severe. I struggled with myself to decide what to do.
