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Real life was a mess of words that sometimes worked, and other times didn’t. Real life was an array of emotions that hardly made sense. Real life was a first draft novel with scribbles and crossed out sentences, all written in crayon. It wasn’t beautiful. It came without warning. It came without ease. And when the novel of real life came to fuck you up...
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How could someone be there for so long and then just let go?
For the first time, he let himself feel, let himself hurt, and I was there to hold him close.
“What can I do?” I asked, holding him closer. “Tell me what I can do.” He placed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “Just don’t let go. If you let go, I’ll run. I’ll let it overtake me. Please, Lucille, just don’t let go.”
I’d only known Ollie for such a short period of time, but I knew he’d already changed my life for the better. His heart was one that was always filled with love, and he’d be missed forever.
“If you need to fall, fall into me.”
Within seconds, gravity found me. Every sense of floating was gone, every sense of strength no longer mine. I began to descend, faster and faster, crashing down, waiting for the impact to hit, but she was there. She was right beside me. She caught me before I hit the ground. She became my strength when I could no longer be brave.
Oh, how badly I needed someone to stay that night. I was so thankful it was her.
‘The world’s a little darker tonight, Graham.’ Then he wiped away his tears and said, ‘But still, I must believe that the sun will rise tomorrow.’”
Ollie was my father,” Graham said, tears freely falling down his cheeks as he took one final deep breath. “And I will forever be his son.”
My heart skipped. She looked exhausted—no makeup, messy hair, and absolutely everything I’d ever wanted.
I wondered how I’d gone so long without telling her she was one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. Lucy Palmer had saved me from the darkness, and I’d never be able to thank her enough.
Each second I saw her, I fell a little more. Plus, she held Talon in her arms, and the way my daughter, my heart, snuggled into this woman made me fall even more.
We weren’t supposed to feel this way. We weren’t supposed to fall for one another, she and I. Yet it seemed gravity had a way of pulling us closer.
“You told her he was my father?” I asked. “Of course. He was your father, and you were his son.”
“Lucille?” “Yes?” “You make the world a lot less dark.”
“I am in love with you,”
Loving Lucy Hope Palmer wasn’t a choice; it was my destiny.
“Let her in, my dear. She makes you feel the way Ollie made me feel—whole—and a love like that isn’t something one should ever pass up. There might be a million reasons why you think it couldn’t work, but all you need is one reason why it could. That reason is love.”
I knew she was right about Lucy and love. If love were a person, it would be her.
“Tell her. Tell her everything that scares you, everything that excites you, everything that moves you. Tell her all of it and let her in. I ...
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“It’s you,” I whispered, our lips still slightly touching. “My greatest hope is, and always will be, you.”
I fell in love with a boy before our first kiss, and he fell for a girl who he wasn’t allowed to have. Our connection, our heartbeats, matched one another in our fairytale world, but in reality, society deemed us as an awful accident.
Our love was everything good and bad wrapped in one kiss.
I’d never regret finding him, holding him, even if we only had those few seconds as one. He’d always be worth those tiny seconds we shared. He’d always be worth that soul-connecting feeling we created when our lips touched. He’d always be the one I spent my nights dreaming of being near. He’d always be worth it to me.
Sometimes when your heart wanted a full-length novel, the world only gave you a novella, and sometimes when you wanted forever you only had those few seconds of now.
“I thought I’d been in love before. I thought I knew what love was. I thought I understood its curves, its angles, its shape. But then, I kissed you.” “And?” I swallowed hard. “And I realized you were the first and only thing that ever made my heartbeats come to life.”
“And since when do we care what society thinks, my hippie weirdo?”
“Did you just ask me on a date even though there was poop on my face?” He nodded without hesitation. “Of course. It’s just a little poop. That wouldn’t change the fact that I’m in love with you and want to take you out on a date.”
“You’re in love with me?” “With every piece of my soul.”
Being beside him always felt right to me. Like home.
I smiled at her sassiness. I loved that side of her. I loved all sides of her.
She’d been poisoned with love—the same love that had once destroyed her. It amazed me how love could hurt so much.
“You’re not stupid. You’re just too trusting, which is a million times worse.”
“For the record, I never slept with him. I love him with every ounce of my heart. I love the way he loves me so quietly, but we never slept together, not once, because I could never get past the idea of doing something like that to my sister. Now, though, I see the truth—being a sister isn’t just defined by blood. It’s defined by unconditional love. Lyric was never my sister, and she never will be.” I took the heart-shaped necklace from around my neck and placed it in Mari’s hands. “But, you are my heart, Mari, and I know I’m yours. So, when they hurt you, find me. Find me and I’ll put your
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If only love came with a timeline and instructions. If it had, I would’ve fallen in love with him when our timing was right. If love came with a timeline, Graham Russell would’ve always held my heart.
If he knew me, he’d know that all my life, home was always shifting. I never planted my roots anywhere, and when it was time to move, it was time to move. Even if going meant leaving my heartbeats behind.
Yes, Talon wasn’t mine, but I was hers. All of me loved that child. All of me would give my world for her and her father.
As the words danced from his mouth and into my spirit, I remembered exactly why he was the man I chose to love fully. When he spoke, his words forever marked my soul as his. “If you need to fall, fall into me.”
I hated the way she spoke as if Lucy was the monster in our lives. As if Lucy hadn’t saved me from myself. As if Lucy was anything less than a miracle.
a bigger part of me looked at Talon and saw pieces of me in her stare. I saw myself in her smile. I saw the best parts of me in her soul. She was mine, and I was hers.
was thirty-one weeks, she was twenty-eight, but I hadn’t let that idea simmer. Talon was my daughter. My baby. My heart. I couldn’t imagine that being anything less than true.
There were parts of me that I saw in Talon’s eyes, but a bigger part of me looked at Talon and saw pieces of him in her stare. I saw him in her smile. I saw parts of him in her soul—and yet, she was not his, and he was not hers.
When she was gone, I hurried over to Talon and lifted her in my arms. How could she not be my world? She was mine, and I was hers. I was hers, and she was mine. She’d saved me.
I silently prayed for this to be mine, Graham and me, forever and always. My heart told me I’d love him for all time.
“I love you more than the wind loves the trees, sweet girl, and I’m always here for you, even when you don’t see me.”
“One day you’ll be happy we didn’t work out,” I promised him. “One day you’ll wake with Talon on your left side and someone else on your right, and you’ll realize how happy you are that you and I didn’t work out.”
“One day I’m going to wake up,” he replied, his mood somber, “and it will be you lying beside me.”
She was my freedom, yet I was her cage.
Ouch💔
It was in that moment I remembered why falling apart wasn’t an option. I remembered why I couldn’t allow myself to fall into a pit of loneliness—because I wasn’t alone. I had the most beautiful reason to keep moving forward.
