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Dealing with prideful men was difficult enough, but yokai had centuries to accumulate ego.
I fear losing you more than anything that might befall me.
“I have been watching him closely. The signs are obvious.” “Would you know what love looks like, Susano? You, who have never loved and never desired to?”
“Whatever you ask of me.” He drew her closer and captured her hand in his, lifting it. Eyes lowered, he pressed his lips to her knuckles. “Whatever you desire, whatever you need. Command me, little miko.”
“You just can’t do as I say, can you?” “You’re even less obedient than I am.”
“Tell me,” he commanded. “You,” she cried, angry tears spilling down her cheeks. “I wish I could have a future with you. You’re the only thing I’ve ever wanted badly enough to risk my purity for. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“I told you before, little miko. Amaterasu might be fine with you sacrificing your life, your Guji and your shrine and everyone else might be fine with it, and you might be fine with it—but I’m not
Tears stung her eyes, and she squeezed them shut, wishing she hadn’t missed, wishing she had stabbed the spearhead directly into Izanagi’s heart. If she had killed the Amatsukami instead of wounding him, she wouldn’t have had to count on Shiro to finish it. He had made his choice, a choice he’d had every right to make, but she feared the cost would prove far too high.
She pressed her lips together to keep them from trembling. Soon, he would no longer need her. Soon, his strength and his confidence as a Kunitsukami would be fully rejuvenated. And soon, she would be gone from this world. But maybe she would live long enough to see the solstice to the end and the world saved—or destroyed.
Shiro glanced up, squinting into the sun. “You were sad that you wouldn’t get to see flowers or the summer sun again. This isn’t quite the same, but … just for today, you can have summer one more time.”
She couldn’t even look at Shiro, afraid she would lose all control. Instead, she threw her arms around Yumei. He staggered back a step, holding his hands away from her as though he had no idea how an embrace worked. She pressed her face against his shoulder, tears streaking her cheeks. “Thank you, Yumei,” she choked. “She’s crying,” he growled at Shiro. “Try returning her embrace,” Shiro said with a snicker. “That might help.” With obvious reluctance, Yumei closed his arms around her. She stifled a watery giggle and held him, knowing it was the only hug she was likely to ever get from the
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Had she ever felt this relaxed in her life? Shiro’s presence brought her such peace. How could he be a threat to her inner harmony when his nearness was a balm to all her fears? How could being with him be wrong when she felt so strong, so fearless, so complete at his side?
Watching him, his chin tucked in the crook of his arm, his expression relaxed and on the edge of sleep, her heart overflowed and drowned her in emotion. She loved him. She was in love with him and madly, irreversibly desperate for him. Why was it wrong to touch him?
“I would forget everything else,” he murmured, “as long as I didn’t forget who I am with you. This is who I want to be.” “Shiro …” His eyes turned to hers, sorrow and longing twining in their depths. “I don’t want to lose this. You are my fire, Emi. You are my warmth. Before you, the flames within me were cold as ice.”
“Your love for each other is inspiring,” Emi said. “Even after so long, you’ve never gotten tired of each other?” “He is my other half,” Uzume replied simply. “He completes me. To tire of him would be to tire of life itself.”
“Purity is born of pure intent, of faith and confidence in one’s choices. When one acts with conviction, his ki will be pure and powerful, and that, kamigakari, is the source of all strength.”
To find true makoto no kokoro, you don’t need to be in harmony with a kami. You need to be in harmony with yourself.
“I’m sorry.” She gripped his wrist, holding his hand to her face. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it.” “Realize what?” The question was quiet, tense. “That I’ve never been as absolutely certain about anything as I am about loving you.”
“Now that I’ve finally found you, why must I lose you?”
“If I am your fire, then you are my light.”
“I would have kept you forever, little miko.” His words were soft, almost soundless. “I would have taken you with me wherever the tides of time carried us, and I would have loved you until the very end.”
Anguish slashed across his face. Emi had loved him so dearly, yet she hadn’t truly understood how deeply her love had touched his heart. An immortal’s soul was as permanent as the earth, as the sky, as the mountains and oceans. When change afflicted them, it too was permanent. He would love Emi forever. He would never stop grieving for her.
“Don’t you remember when I promised you I would never forget you, not until my last day?” An indecipherable emotion flickered across his features. “It’s okay to forget me.” “I’ll never forget you,” she choked. “Shiro, I love you. Don’t leave me.” His breath slipped from him. “Live a long life, Emi.”
“Why did he do that?” Emi wept against Yumei’s shoulder. “Why couldn’t he let me die instead?” “Some pain,” Yumei murmured, “is too much to endure when you live forever. If he had not saved you, he would have regretted it for eternity.”
“Why don’t you look surprised?” she asked hollowly. “Do I ever look surprised?” She narrowed her eyes. “Did you just make a joke?”
“You realize you’re mine now, don’t you?” he growled. “I am keeping you. Forever.”
She didn’t belong in the human world, in the kami world, or in the yokai world. But she belonged with Inari, and that was all she needed. Her place was with him, and his was with her.
