Asking for It: The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture--and What We Can Do about It

by Kate Harding

“Making women the sexual gatekeepers and telling men they just can’t help themselves not only drives home the point that women’s sexuality is unnatural, but also sets up a disturbing dynamic in which women are expected to be responsible for men’s sexual behavior,”

Most men do not struggle with wanting to rape anyone, sleeping or not. Most men, like most human beings in general, can easily distinguish between an abstract desire for sexual contact and an immediate, urgent desire to possess another person’s body without their consent.

Rape is not a failure of “normal restraint” but of humanity. It’s not a “mistake” but a deliberate decision to treat another person like a soulless object.

Feminists insist that men are not animals. Instead, men are rational human beings fully capable of listening to their partners and understanding that sex isn’t about pushing someone to do something they don’t want to do.

Lack of protest or resistance does not mean consent, nor does silence mean consent.