When your kids, friends, or other family members underestimate themselves, asking them a version of “Wait, what?” can help reveal those faulty assumptions and inferences, which can then be the primary focus of the conversation. Indeed, you can then follow up with a version of the second essential question—“I wonder why you believe that about yourself?”—to encourage your friends or relatives to reassess their thinking. These conversations are not always easy, but they are as essential as the questions that encourage them.
