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Law professors, as you may know, mostly teach by the Socratic method, or at least a modified version of it. They will call on law students and pose question after question, testing whether the answers offered by the students hold up to additional inquiry or a slight change of facts. Done well, this series of questions forces students to think hard about the implications of their arguments and to search for general principles of law that can be applied across a number of different contexts.
But after witnessing the class, which I spent asking students question after question, my father realized that I had managed to find maybe the one job in the world for which I was naturally well-suited. “This is what you were meant to do,” he told me, adding—mostly in jest—that he couldn’t believe I was paid to ask students questions that seemed just as annoying as the ones I asked around the dinner table when I was younger.
Why does our public education system work well for some kids but fail so many others, especially those who are already disadvantaged?
When I reworked the speech for the Harvard graduating class of 2014, I realized that what I was trying to say thirty years earlier was that we shouldn’t waste time being afraid—of the past, the future, uncertainty, other people, new ideas, or new situations. I still believe that to be true.
the sin of omission.
It seemed like a pretty big one to talk about right out of the gate, and it dawned on me that it was really two sins—lighting the fire, and then, as politicians sometimes say, “misremembering” that I had done so when asked by my parents.
Failing to do something you ought to do, the priest explained, can be just as much a sin as intentionally doing something wrong.
The idea that you could sin by doing nothing bewildered me at first, but over the years I came to believe that sins of omission are often more harmful—to others and ourselves—than sins of commission.
I suggested that the students should pay close attention to what they are not doing.
The first suggestion is to spend more time thinking about the right questions to ask.
If you think you are supposed to have all of the answers, and all you have are questions, who wouldn’t be stressed?
It is only by asking questions of others, for example, that you can articulate a vision that is compelling to those with whom you work.
questions are just as important as answers, often more so.
The simple truth is that an answer can only be as good as the question asked. If you ask the wrong question, you are going to get the wrong answer.
Asking good questions is hard because it requires you to see past the easy answers and to focus instead on the difficult, the tricky, the mysterious, the awkward, and sometimes the painful.
Good teachers, for example, appreciate that well-posed questions make knowledge come to life and create the spark that lights the flame of curiosity.
Effective leaders, even great ones, accept that they don’t have all the answers. But they know how to ask the right questions—questions that force others and themselves to move past old and tired answers, questions that open up possibilities that, before the question, went unseen.
Einstein, who was a big believer in the importance of asking questions, famously said that if he had an hour to solve a problem, and his life depended on it, he would spend the first fifty-five minutes determining the proper question to ask. You might want to save a little more time for the solution than Einstein, but you get the point.
They pose questions that, just in the asking, show how much they know and care about you. They ask questions that make you pause, that make you think, that provoke honesty, and that invite a deeper connection. They ask questions that don’t so much demand an answer as prove irresistible. Posing irresistible questions, I believe, is an art worth cultivating.
Siri, Google, and Watson are remarkable at answering some basic questions, but they are not very good at asking them.
the suggestion I want to make is that you, as listeners, can turn most bad questions into good ones, provided that you listen carefully and generously.
The only truly bad questions are not really questions at all. They are statements disguised as questions that are meant to be demeaning or designed to trip you up.
When I was in elementary school, our school custodian had a huge key ring hanging from his belt. The keys fascinated me, in part because they seemed to outnumber the doors in our elementary school, or at least the doors that you could see as a student. I wondered what other doors, unseen, the keys might unlock, and what lay behind them. I thought the custodian was the most powerful person in school because he had all the keys. To me, keys signaled power.
Who has the keys and how do they open the door
“Wait, what?”
But haters are going to hate, as they say, and in this case the skeptics are wrong, because “Wait, what?” is a truly great question.
A plain-spoken “Wait, what?” for example, can simply be a way to ask a person to repeat what she said and to elaborate a bit, because the assertion or suggestion was surprising and slightly hard to believe.
An elongated “wait” followed by a short but emphasized “what” is a good way to indicate
genuine incredulity. It’s a bit like asking, politely, “Did you really just say tha...
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The reverse formulation, featuring a short “wait” followed by an elongated “what” can be used when someone has asked you to do something, and it can effectively convey suspicion and skepticism about the motives behind the re...
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moment, the question inevitably comes: “Wait, whaaat? Did you say clean? Our rooms?”
The “wait” that precedes the “what” could be seen as just a useless rhetorical tic. But I think it’s crucial because it reminds you (and others) to slow down to make sure you truly understand.
Asking “Wait, what?” is a good way to capture, rather than miss, those opportunities.
Asking “Wait, what?” is also a good way to avoid jumping to conclusions or making snap judgments.
If we took more time to understand ideas and perspectives, especially new and challenging ones, we might be less dismissive and instead more curious.
In almost every instance, it is better to ask clarifying questions first and to argue second. Before you advocate for a position, be sure to ask “Wait, what?” Inquiry, in other words, should always precede advocacy.
Rakesh Khurana.
Rakesh’s class highlighted his brilliance at teaching by the case method, which is the way classes are typically taught in business school.
When faced with difficult conversations or emotionally charged situations, it is always a challenge to pause to ask if you have all of the facts you need to draw fair conclusions.
It is easy—too easy—simply to react, often passionately and often based on assumptions rather than facts. Reminding yourself to ask “Wait, what?” is a way to guard against jumping too quickly to conclusions.
When your kids, friends, or other family members underestimate themselves, asking them a version of “Wait, what?” can help reveal those faulty assumptions and inferences, which can then be the primary focus of the conversation. Indeed, you can then follow up with a version of the second essential question—“I wonder why you believe that about yourself?”—to encourage your friends or relatives to reassess their thinking. These conversations are not always easy, but they are as essential as the questions that encourage them.
It is easy, when on the receiving end of these challenges, to immediately begin an argument, trying to defend your position. But you might try to remember that the person posing the challenge or expressing opposition could simply be in need of further explanation or may just need to better understand the rationale or motivation behind what you are saying.
So the next time someone says in response to a suggestion or proposal, “That’s ridiculous,” or, “That seems like a totally dumb idea,” remind yourself that they might simply be asking, “Wait, what?” They might be asking for a deeper explanation.
In short, “Wait, what?” is an essential question because it is at the heart of understanding, which in turn is crucial to a fulfilling and rewarding life, both professionally and personally.
Cultivating the habit of understanding first and making judgments second will also help you avoid pointless conflicts and create deeper connections with those around you.
“I wonder” can be paired, at the very least, with both “why” and “if.” This chapter is about these two variations on a single theme, namely the questions “I wonder why?” and “I wonder if?”
“I wonder why?” allows you to remain curious about the world,
“I wonder if?” allows you to remain engaged with the world and is a way to prompt your...
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Albert Einstein, in a classic humble brag, once remarked: “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”
Einstein was passionately curious about the world around him, both seen and unseen. “The important thing,” he observed, “is to not stop questioning. Never lose a holy curiosity.”
“Why?” is their go-to question and makes up an inordinate part of their daily conversations.
