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Trying to improve your life without self-awareness is like trying to hit a target blindfolded. You keep trying to make changes, but you get sidetracked because of underlying beliefs and mindsets you don’t even know you have.
You definitely weren’t born with the idea of pursuing work you don’t enjoy, chasing after materials that might be meaningless, and playing it safe. These ideas come from somewhere. You cling to the idea of you so tightly, all the while failing to notice or remember that the idea of you is nothing more than a figment of your imagination.
The reality you’re experiencing right now is nothing more than a set of stories you’re telling yourself about the world. When you’re born, you’re a blank slate. Had you been born in a different location, to different parents, and under different circumstances, you would be different.
Contrary to popular belief, the school system was created not to educate our youth, but to prepare them to become obedient workers who could work in the factory for hours on end without moving.
If you’d asked eighteen-years-old me why I was going to college, I wouldn’t have had a great answer for you. It’d be something along the lines of “because that’s what you’re supposed to do.”
Going against the narrative means being uncomfortable or facing embarrassment. But it also could mean a better future; a future where you get to live the life you want to live. By you, I mean the person you are deep inside who you lost sight of after hearing too many stories.
The stories culture tells us impact us, but they pale in comparison to the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves.
“The minute they hit a snag, their confidence goes out the window and their motivation hits rock bottom. If success means they’re smart, then failure means they’re dumb. That’s the fixed mindset.”
The word that makes a world of difference in your life—for better or worse—is decision.
“One has to kill a few of one’s natural selves to let the rest grow—a very painful slaughter of innocents.” – Henry Sidgwick.
You can’t sit alone in a room and decide what your passion is. Passion comes from doing, testing, and seeing what happens. On top of that, the idea of passion has been overstated. You’ve been told that anything less than pure happiness, joy, and contentment doesn’t equal passion. You’ve also been told you should feel super passionate about your “calling,” right away. “Find something you love and you’ll never have to work another day in your life.” The truth is you’re more likely to feel passionate after you get good at something.
Thirty days seems like a nice round number, but I prefer 66. Why? Because it’s the research based timeframe it takes to create a habit that sticks.
The Resistance is responsible for snuffing out the dreams of millions of people. Your path to the life you deserve involves waging war with the Resistance • The Resistance is cunning and will attack you in both overt and subtle ways • The Resistance never goes away. If you wait for your fear to disappear before you act, you’ll be waiting forever
There are certain things we always do without fail—shower, brush our teeth, and go to work every day. You don’t think about brushing your teeth or showering when you wake up—you just do it. You don’t debate if you’re going to work—even if you don’t like your job—because you need money to survive. The combined power of habit and incentives make us do what we do a regular basis.
It’s because advertisers know people respond to rewards and benefits. They don’t care much about how to get the results.
Now, when it’s time to do the actual work of “getting ripped,” there’s no way around the exercise itself, but the idea of a reward gets your foot in the door and focusing on the reward helps you build the habit of exercising.
I, like you, was in the phase of experimentation and wandering for a while. I knew there was something I wanted, but I didn’t know what it was. I tried to find it in many places and failed many times.
Goals are mechanical and robotic. Rewards are inspiring and human.
When you focus on the rewards of your actions, you’ll repeat them enough to make them habits. Once your actions become habitual, they’re easier to maintain.
In science, there’s more power in figuring out what doesn’t work as opposed to what does. The same might be true for life itself.
If you can’t figure out what will help you live a better future, figure out what will make your future worse and avoid it.
It’s fun to imagine yourself driving a Lamborghini down a winding road with a pile of cash in the trunk, but it doesn’t feel real to you. Picturing yourself declaring bankruptcy after being swallowed by your debts, however, is something you picture with crystal clear vision.
Why do you think the news has the same amount of content every day? Is every day equally newsworthy? Of course not, but they need to make their advertisers happy, so they have to put something out there regardless of what it is.
When you hear information from anyone, think about what’s in it for them. Biases aside, there are real financial incentives for institutions wanting you to work a 9 to 5, take on tons of debt through student loans and mortgages, and avoid a route of entrepreneurship. There are financial incentives to shun individualism, control what’s said in the news, and promote a certain way of living. The script created after the Industrial Revolution that says, “Go to school, get good grades, get a nice job, buy a house, and have 2.5 kids,” was created for a reason. The motive wasn’t altruism.
Your filter can be built with the following: • Values – If the new you values freedom, filter out “noise” concerning certainty, safety, and security. If the new you values contentment, filter out “noise” concerning materialism or outward signs of success. • Trading places – A simple and easy method of filtering noise is asking yourself, “Would I trade places with the person giving me this information?” If the answer is a resounding no, don’t listen to them. That doesn’t mean in terms of money, but in the direction their life is heading. • Agenda – Ask yourself if the agenda of the person
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