More had been exposed than my accuser had known. She had triggered the deep sense of inadequacy and disqualification that always lay under the surface of my soul. I don’t truly believe I failed her the way she thought I had, but her words ripped my frail assurance apart. If I could go back in time, I would tell many church folks I pastored that I didn’t need any help feeling like a failure. Feeling like a failure is my default state. And so this woman’s words hurt not just in the way they were false but more in the way they were true.
