God was asking me to admit that I could not swim. He was telling me to trust totally in him, not in my own sense of accomplishment and not even in others’ positive appraisal of my ministry. But the weird thing is, in the spiritual economy of the kingdom you find yourself by losing. You live by dying. See, I had it backward. I thought God was asking me to lay down pastoral ministry and sit down. But really he was telling me to rise up and walk. He was telling me to lay aside all the things I’d been using, the props if you will, to show my strength and simply follow him that he might be all.
