First Things First

by Stephen R. Covey

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we know that life is difficult—then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. If our expectation is that there will be challenge, then challenge does not create frustration. For another example, many of us expect other people to agree with us, to carry out what we feel should be done. When others disagree with us, when they have questions or concerns, when they don’t enthusiastically support our decisions, or when they come up with alternative ideas, we feel frustrated. What difference does it make when we expect people to see things differently, when we value that difference, when we anticipate the synergistic use of human endowments to create third-alternative solutions? Unmet expectations create frustration, but our expectations are within our control. We’re not talking about lowering our expectations, but about basing them on the realities of true north. One of the richest areas for elminating much of the frustration we experience in our lives is to examine our expectations. Whenever we feel frustrated, we can go back to the root of the problem.