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When what we value is in opposition to the natural laws that govern peace of mind and quality of life, we base our lives on illusion and set ourselves up for failure.
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“Am I doing the right things?” before “Am I doing things right?”
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The essence of these needs is captured in the phrase “to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy.”
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When we reach a “critical mass” of integration, we experience spontaneous combustion—an explosion of inner synergy that ignites the fire within and gives vision, passion, and a spirit of adventure to life.
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“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
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One of the best ways to strengthen our independent will is to make and keep promises. Each time we do, we make deposits in our Personal Integrity Account.
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STEP ONE: CONNECT WITH YOUR VISION AND MISSION
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STEP TWO: IDENTIFY YOUR ROLES
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STEP THREE: SELECT QUADRANT II GOALS IN EACH ROLE
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STEP FOUR: CREATE A DECISION-MAKING FRAMEWORK FOR THE WEEK
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STEP FIVE: EXERCISE INTEGRITY IN THE MOMENT
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STEP SIX: EVALUATE
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Week
What goals did I achieve? • What challenges did I encounter? • What decisions did I make? • In making decisions, did I keep first things first?
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The single most significant factor, he realized, was a sense of future vision—the impelling conviction of those who were to survive that they had a mission to perform, some important work left to do.1 Survivors
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The way we see the problem is the problem.
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There are seasons when intense investment can make the difference between success and failure, between mediocrity and excellence. And that investment, or lack of it, has tremendous implications for others down the road—for spouse, children, employees, associates, the community as a whole.
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Building character strength is like building physical strength. When the test comes, if you don’t have it, no cosmetics can disguise the fact that it just isn’t there.
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We typically set a goal with the expectation that meeting it will create positive change and quality-of-life results. But often the change isn’t so positive. Accomplishing one goal impacts other areas of life in a negative way. When we come face-to-face with the results, we become disillusioned.
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Goals that are connected to our inner life have the power of passion and principle.
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The key to motivation is motive. It’s the “why.”
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A principle-based goal is all three: the right thing, for the right reason, in the right way.
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Principle-based goal setting involves the full, synergistic use of all four human endowments: • Through conscience, we connect with the passion of vision and mission and the power of principles. • Through creative imagination, we envision possibility and synergistic, creative ways to achieve it. • Through self-awareness, we set goals with realistic stretch and stay open to conscience-driven change. • Through independent will, we make purposeful choice and carry it out; we have the integrity to walk our talk.
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Quality of life depends on what happens in the space between stimulus and response.
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The point is that instead of reacting based on your own needs and what you feel are time pressures, you’re pausing to think about principles and connect with conscience in a way that empowers you to put first things first in the moment of choice.
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What can I learn from this week that will keep next week from essentially being a repeat of the same?
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You may want to select some from the following list:
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The shift is from doing more things in less time to doing first things in an effective, balanced, and synergistic way.
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As people work together to accomplish any task, sooner or later they have to deal with five elements:
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As you sit down with a boss, a direct report, a co-worker, a child, go through the process and come to agreement on each of the five elements of win-win stewardship agreement.
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In the process of accountability, the individual evaluates himself or herself against the desired results specified in the agreement.
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Anytime we think the problem is “out there,” that thought is the problem.
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cultivate the conditions of empowerment feast on the lunch of champions v become a leader/servant
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Character includes: • integrity—the ability to walk your talk, a thorough integratedness of public, private, and deep inner life around a balanced set of principles • maturity—the balance of courage and consideration that enables you to say what needs to be said, to give honest feedback, to address issues in a straightforward way, but with consideration and respect for the feelings, thoughts, and opinions of others
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• abundance mentality—the paradigm that life is ever expanding, that there are an infinite number of third alternatives (in contrast to the paradigm that life is a zero sum game, that the pie is only so large and if anyone else gets a piece, that means less for me)
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Competence includes: • technical competence—the knowledge and skill to achieve the agreed-upon results; the ability to think through problems and look for new alternatives • conceptual competence—the ability to see the big picture, to examine assumptions and shift perspectives • interdependent competence—the ability to interact effectively with others, including the ability to listen, communicate, get to third alternatives, create win-win agreements, and work toward synergistic solutions; the ability to see and operate effectively and cooperatively in complete organizations and systems
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In a principle-centered life, the journey and the destination are one.
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Rather than activities and appointments, you see your day in terms of people and relationships. You see processes in progress as new possibilities for contribution to the mission of the organization. It’s not only a matter of when to do things, but whether or not to do them at all. It’s asking questions of why and how as well as when. It’s consulting your compass as well as your clock. In making your decisions, you’d want to pause and connect with conscience. You’d want to: • Ask with intent • Listen without excuse, and • Act with courage
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In a Quadrant II day, what changes first is our thoughts—the way we see the day. Tasks provide an opportunity for growth, for improvement. We can work on our competence—to learn, to expand our skills, to broaden our ability to perform—or on our character—to be more honest, more understanding, to see the other point of view, to pause frequently and listen to conscience. We can apply ourselves to change the systems and make them more effective. The creativity that comes when we stop to pause and listen is amazing.
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Once we know that life is difficult—then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.
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“The only real mistake in life,” said one, “is the mistake not learned from.”
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Is there something I feel I could do to make a difference?
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