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An attempt to put first things first in our lives with a single dimensional chronos paradigm is simplistic. It’s saying that what’s important in our lives and how well we’re doing are functions of mechanical clocks and printed calendars.
Then I realized that the point was not to schedule every little thing, but to work on first things first.
Even the simple addition of a weekly worksheet to a daily planning system creates a significant difference. But there’s an even more powerful difference when we add the kairos or abundance paradigm—when we see that all parts of our lives matter to our mission, and that synergy among the parts creates energy in the whole.
Quality of life depends on what happens in the space between stimulus and response.
Any week or day or moment in life is uncharted territory. It’s never been lived before. We’re parachuted into unfamiliar terrain, and while the road map we’ve created is helpful, our ability to navigate effectively depends, to a great extent, on the quality of our internal compass, the strength of the four endowments that make it possible for us to detect and align with true north at any time.
we can depend on our internal compass to keep us moving in the right direction.
And there were always choices to make. Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which determined whether or not you would become the plaything of circumstance. . . .‘
We may find it convenient to live with the illusion that circumstances or other people are responsible for the quality of our lives, but the reality is that we are responsible—responsible—for our choices.
Over time, our choices become habits of the heart.
The essence of principle-centered living is making the commitment to listen to and live by conscience.
This is the one that unerringly leads to quality-of-life results.
It’s just a deep inner knowing of the “right” thing to do and a confidence that doing it would produce quality results.
“I can’t believe the difference in my life once I started to realize that I have my own inner guide. I feel a sense of direction in everything do, and, as long as I’m true to it, everything seems to work together to make it happen. ”
This is the essence of principle-centered living. It’s creating an open channel with that deep inner knowing and acting with integrity to it.
This is obviously not a “quick-fix.” As this young woman discovered, it takes tremendous effort and investment over time. But the more we’re able to do it, the more we experience the quality-of-life fruits that come from a principle-centered life.
The essential purpose of the Quadrant II process is to increase the space between stimulus and response and our power to act in it with integrity.
We pause between stimulus and response to proactively choose a response that is deeply integrated with principles, needs, and capacities.
On a daily, moment-by-moment basis, we increase our ability to act with integrity as we learn to...
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It is to ask our conscience, not out of curiosity, but out of commitment to act based on the wisdom of the heart.
It’s the manifestation that our desire to do the right thing is greater than our desire to just do something.
However the question is worded, it needs to be a question of the heart.
Suppose you were to take a deep breath and pause.
Involve people in the problem and work out solutions together.
The point is that instead of reacting based on your own needs and what you feel are time pressures, you’re pausing to think about principles and connect with conscience in a way that empowers you to put first things first in the moment of choice.
Wisdom is learning all we can, but having the humility to realize that we don’t know it all.
If we choose the first option, we feel peaceful.
If we choose the second option, we feel disharmony and tension.
Brick by brick, walls of justification and rationalization begin to surround your heart.
You live in a complex web of discomfort and pain created by the consequences of not listening to and acting in harmony with that first whisper of conscience.
We exhaust ourselves far more from the tension and the consequences of internal disharmony—not doing what we feel we should— than from hard, unremitting work.
The key to acting with integrity is to simply stop playing the game. Learn to listen—as well as to conscience, to our own response. The instant we feel ourselves saying, “Yes, but” change it to, “Yes, and.” No rationalizing. No justifying. Just do it.
Then listen, respond . . . listen, respond.
But some of the greatest acts of courage are in that instant between stimulus and response in our everyday decisions in life.
It takes courage to live a principle-centered life, knowing that the choices you make may not be popular or understood by others.
It takes courage to realize that you are greater than your moods, greater than your thoughts, and that you can control your moods and thoughts.
I took a deep breath and decided to choose my own response to the situation.
to do what I could about those things I felt I ought to do something about, and to mentally let go of the rest.
it really does take courage to just do what we feel we ought to do in the moment of choice—and to let go of all the reasons, the rationalizations, the justifications, the “if only” thinking that threatens to overpower the peace of that decision.
As we learn to ask with intent, listen without excuse, and act with courage, we build our ability to live a principle centered life.
Over time, listening to and living by conscience becomes the fundamental habit of the heart. Instead of living with rationalization, fear, guilt, or frustration, we live with the peaceful inner assurance that we’re putting first things first on a day-by-day, moment-by-moment basis.
Genuine guilt (not social, scripted guilt) becomes our te...
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The end of education is to see men made whole, both in competence and in conscience.
When we’re tired or ill, we often tend to be more reactive.
In addition, the abuse of chemical substances such as drugs and alcohol can severely diminish the space between stimulus and response.
Sharpening the saw physically—exercising, eating the right foods, getting adequate rest, avoiding harmful substances, having regular physical checkups—significantly increases the likelihoo...
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Our body is a fundamental stewardship; it’s the instrument through which we work to fulfill all other stewardships and responsibilities.
Quality mental renewal gives us added knowledge and perspective in decision-making moments.
Meaningful mental renewal empowers us to transcend the limited wisdom of our environment in decision moments and keeps our minds sharp and clear and well exercised for ready use.
One of the most essential elements of the wisdom literature is the idea that an individual’s life is part of a greater whole.
As people see the consequences of living with the illusion of a self-focused, consumer-oriented, materialistic chronos paradigm, many begin to look at their lives more closely and search for ways to contribute that will change the results.
