The Man I Think I Know

by Mike Gayle

For the first time ever I could experience the sweet relief of sharing with another human being everything about me: the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Finally someone else will understand that it was never part of the plan for me to be like this.

Perhaps having reached rock bottom, I’m about to bounce my way back up to the top.

It is no wonder I get tired sometimes, if I am always thinking other people’s thoughts as well as my own. One day I would like to have a head full of thoughts that are just mine.

It’s funny how life can be sometimes, just when you think you know how everything is, it sneaks out a surprise that really tears the rug right out from beneath your feet.

How I’ve started looking forward to the future and at the same time made up my mind to deal with my past.

The hurt of a child growing up without one of its parents, the rejection that comes from a lifetime of wondering if you’re the real reason they are not around.

The prospect of failure simply never occurred to me. Irrespective of circumstance, life would always go my way

they didn’t blame me for what happened, but I was too busy listening to the voice in my head, the one that said I could have done things differently, to hear a single word they said. The voice in my head shouted louder than anyone. It told me that I should have known something was wrong.

But I think I am okay with not knowing what might have been now … I think I am okay not knowing because there are so many things that I still get to find out.’

Things happen all the time that we cannot control. Sometimes they are bad and sometimes they are good. It is just the way life is.’

They’ve each had horrible things happen in their lives, things that would make most of us want to give up altogether, and yet here they are, somehow finding their way through it all to happiness.

But life never did get back to normal. Instead we had a new kind of normal:

Time suddenly seems like the most precious commodity, more valuable than gold or silver. I tell myself I’m going to spend it more wisely from now on. I tell myself that I’m going to make each moment count.

Details are important when a day is special to you. But the difficult thing is that quite often you do not know a day is special until long after it is over.

you don’t have to be defined by your past mistakes or anybody else’s, for that matter. You can choose, right here and now, a different path, one that ends with you feeling proud of what you’ve achieved and the difficulties you’ve overcome.

‘The truth is that we all fail sometimes, we all do things or have things done to us that will throw us off course, but you always have a choice: give in or get up.