The Psychology of Abusive Relationships: How to Understand Your Abuser, Empower Yourself, and Take Your Life Back (Emotional Freedom and Strength Book 3)

by Pamela Kole

The definition of a healthy relationship is usually going to refer to a two-way road, with both partners benefiting.

What is codependency? It’s when a relationship becomes extremely one-sided, with the abused partner relying on the other for all of their emotional and confidence needs. Their entire mood and happiness is dependent on that one person, and as a result they look to please them as much as possible. They allow that person to make all of the decisions, and shower them with adoration.

People prone to codependent (and controlling) behavior were typically raised being told that other people’s feelings are more important than theirs, and they need to keep up appearances by not complaining or making a fuss. They were taught that appearances were the most important part, despite how unhappy you were under the surface. However, realize that you’re an adult now, and your duty and job in life is not to simply keep the peace for everyone else. You have basic rights, free will and to speak your mind as a human being, and you must assert them. No one else, not even your family or best friends, can do that for you on a consistent basis. And they shouldn’t have to.