Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now

by Gordon Livingston

Whenever I go to the funeral of someone I have known well, I marvel at the image of that person that is portrayed in the eulogy. Seldom does their imperfect humanity survive the idealized descriptions that, while meant to comfort, succeed only in sanitizing the life of the deceased. To know someone fully and love them in spite of, even because of, their imperfections is an act that requires us to recognize and forgive, two very important indicators of emotional maturity. More important is the fact that, if we can do this for other people, we may be able do it for ourselves. It is our fallibility and uncertainty that make us human. Our constant challenge is not to seek perfection in ourselves and others, but to find ways to be happy in an imperfect world. We are impeded in this effort if we cling to an idealized vision of the past that insures dissatisfaction with the present.