The Enchantress Returns (The Land of Stories, #2)

by Chris Colfer

believe the most extraordinary ideas come from children,”

“Well, clearly our lives are going to be totally different now, right?” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “I mean, after two weeks of barely surviving encounters with trolls, wolves, goblins, witches, and evil queens, we can’t be expected to go to school again. We’re too mentally distraught, right, Alex?”

“Let me guess, until we were older?” Conner asked. “If only I had a nickel for every time we heard that. Alex, watch out – we may be two-thirds of a set of triplets but won’t know until we’re thirty.”

“Or maybe this is about my report on Animal Farm?” Conner said. “I know I said, ‘I wish George Orwell had used something to represent politics that didn’t give me a major craving for a bacon cheeseburger,’ but that’s really how I felt; I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

“Having something worth telling and a passion to tell it are what make you a good writer,” Mrs. Peters said. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read novels or articles that used complicated words and witty wordplay to cover up the fact that they had absolutely no story to tell. A good story should be enjoyed; sometimes simplicity can go a long way.”

“You don’t think our mother is worth a dozen camels, Bob? One dog and you think the deal is sealed?”

“Gosh, who are we?”

“Always have a plan B and a friend with bail, and you’re guaranteed to never fail,” Mother Goose said and took another drink. “That’s my motto.”

“Jack and Jill went up that hill, for a supposed pail of water,” Mother Goose said. “Jack fell down, broke his crown, ’cause Jill pushed him – but no one caught her!”

“No way!” Conner said with an intrigued smile. Mother Goose bobbed her head up and down, sloppily nodding. “Why did Jill push Jack down the hill?” Alex asked. Mother Goose chuckled to herself. “Jack

is nimble, Jack is quick – but Jack can be such a —” She stopped herself from finishing the thought, perhaps remembering she was talking to thirteen-year-olds. “I think I’ve had enoug...

“I haven’t had this much fun since I was so very young – and used to rub-a-dub-dub with the three men in the tub!”

“Humpty and I sat on that wall, Humpty and I had such a ball,” she said. “Humpty had a fall, right there and right then, because poor Humpty couldn’t hold his gin.

“Oh no,” Red said after they had been on the move for less than five minutes. “What is it?” Conner asked with his face pressed against the window. “Now I have to tinkle,” Red peeped. Everyone else in the carriage groaned.

“Help?” Red said and laughed at the idea. “And what are you going to do, Goldilocks? Steal her jewels? Pick her locks? Test all her furniture until it’s just right?”

“Witch, please!” Conner said. “We’ve got a living, breathing queen!