The young gay man avoids gym class (where the other boys make fun of him), and he becomes a straight-A student to achieve some validation. Or perhaps he surrounds himself with friends (mostly girls) who don’t seem to notice or care that he is different, and he achieves validation by wearing the most up-to-date and stylish clothes. Or he attempts to become “hypermasculine” by working out at the gym and becoming the star athlete so that no one suspects the real truth about him. One common thread runs through all of these examples: The avoidance of shame becomes the single most powerful, driving
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