F*cked: Being Sexually Explorative and Self-Confident in a World That's Screwed

by Krystyna Hutchinson

Disease Control and Prevention, notes that suicide had been on the decline since 1986 and then suddenly things did a 180. What’s happened since 1986, you ask? The Internet.

One of the best parts of living in the United States is our obsession with denying ourselves things that bring us pleasure—especially food and sex.

It’s funny—even though women are hyper-sexualized from a young age, people really seem to hate it when we have sex. And that hate is sometimes coming the strongest from the woman in the mirror.

Because of this, by Collins’s school of thinking, it is not within the genitals that sexual pleasure is being created but rather through the cooperation and interaction between two people.

To recap: we are animals whose core purpose is to connect with one another and, yes, mate. It’s in our nature!

I wish I could say that I knew then her reaction was inappropriate and far too intense for the situation, but I was genuinely crushed and confused. Is sex this horrible thing that makes parents emotionally abandon their children for a brief period of time?

But it did stop me from asking my mom questions when I really needed her advice. It stopped me from telling a lot of my friends about my sex life. And it stopped me from being confident in the decisions I made with my body. I unconsciously had learned to take action and make decisions based on the approval and happiness of others.

What I didn’t realize was that trying to keep her sheltered from traumatic experiences would also cut off our ability to have important conversations about healthy sex.

When I opened myself up and ventured into her world without judgment, I quickly understood that she is following her heart and making her dreams come true in a way that expresses who she really is.

life. It taught me to dig deeper whenever I feel like there’s a missing piece to the puzzle, instead of what I normally did, which was to assume it was my fault that I didn’t fully grasp the situation and beat myself up over it.

Au contraire, mon frère, I was always confident—which is what most people mean when they call a woman a “bitch.”

Once the act of being unapologetically ourselves is seen as less of a hike, we’ll all be able to relax a little.

Whether you identify as a woman, a man, or nonbinary, the first step in not getting mind-fucked is recognizing your value and demanding that other people who want to be a part of your life recognize it as well.

think everyone has a moment like KneeSockGate, a moment when we realize there are repercussions for just being ourselves.

did. Insecure people are usually the angriest, loudest kind of people.

As Amber Rose told us during her episode of Guys We Fucked, “confidence is quiet and insecurity is loud.”

myself. I was building her up in my head to be this huge bully and in a pathetic effort to feel in control,

“It feels like I’m standing on top of a pedestal inside of a garbage can.” That hit me like a ton of bricks and I realized, Shit . . . I’m part of the garbage can. After that day, I felt as if a thousand

That lesson is this: In terms of how I treat myself and how I treat other women, I don’t want to add to the garbage. I want to be the pedestal.

but when it comes to sexual pleasure, I want my partner to be able to tell me if I’m not satisfying him, and I’m going to want some feedback so that I can change whatever it is I’m doing.

But! He did happen to have the smallest penis of any guy I’ve slept with, so I think his lack of skill was directly correlated to his self-confidence in the bedroom.

And what is it to be a woman, after all, if not a constant struggle of keeping your head above the waters of imperfection? We

Remember, the state of women’s bodies and our perception of ourselves is all a money game.

This means that many women feel guilt or shame because of their desires, but a desire in which they are forced alleviates them of responsibility. Ah, well, if this doesn’t describe being a woman in a nutshell . .

If there’s one thing we want to drive home, it’s that you are in charge of you. And you need to be in working order before you can expect a relationship to succeed.

No matter how stupid a passion seems, remember that anything someone feels passionately about cannot be stupid because it’s the reason they get up in the morning.

Stephen and I are not in an open relationship in which we can sleep with other people in our spare time, but establishing the mutual understanding that it’s okay to be attracted to another person felt so freeing, and the types of conversations we have about people we’re attracted to are conversations I never thought possible.

Hurting someone you love, who gave you their heart and trusted you with it, is a feeling I hope I never have to experience again.

We don’t get every single need met in a relationship; human beings are too complicated for two people to have the exact same set of desires.

As long as we keep straight, single women questioning their value, men will always be the hottest commodity . . . and they just aren’t.

We are very separate people who come together several times a week because we are each other’s favorites.

A relationship has a high value because it is so fucking hard.

He owns me because I gave myself to him, not because he took me.

Do I love myself and feel I am deserving of pleasure without shame?

I am in a career where I am constantly surrounded by so many strong opinions that they all become weak. My hatred of speaking wouldn’t be

My purpose in sharing this is to depict how idiotic it is when we act out instead of speak out.

Codependency and fear of being alone are common reasons for folks to go off the deep end as they go it alone, but sometimes it’s deeper than that.

true. My soul is basically in a tug-of-war between obsession (which usually leads to overindulgence of something) and strictness (which usually leads to me not allowing myself something).

you also shouldn’t stay too long after something consistently does . . . and you’ve mentioned it to your partner at least three times.

if you’ve decided that you truly love someone and care about their well-being, you need to promise to try to love them without conditions.

And that thing I maybe did or did not do or should’ve done is the thing that keeps me up at night, not the memory of the fella.

Please note, just because you didn’t like a particular quality in a person or a way they handled a situation doesn’t make them incorrect; it merely makes you incompatible.