Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy

by Sheryl Sandberg

We plant the seeds of resilience in the ways we process negative events.

“Part of every misery,”18 C. S. Lewis wrote, is “misery’s shadow … the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer.”

Avoiding feelings isn’t the same as protecting feelings.

It’s hard to understand— or even imagine— another person’s pain. When we’re not in a physically or emotionally intense state, we underestimate its impact.

Growing up, I was taught to follow the Golden Rule: treat others as you want to be treated. But when someone is suffering, instead of following the Golden Rule, we need to follow the Platinum Rule:6 treat others as they want to be treated. Take a cue from the person in distress and respond with understanding— or better yet, action.

By putting feelings into words, we give ourselves more power over them.

“Let me fall if I must fall. The one I become will catch me.”

A life chasing pleasure without meaning is an aimless existence.3 Yet a meaningful life without joy is a depressing one.

Believe you can learn from failure and you become less defensive and more open.34 Believe you matter and you spend more time helping others, which helps you matter even more.35 Believe you have strengths and you start seeing opportunities to use them. Believe you are a wizard who can cross the space-time continuum and you may have gone too far.