Madonna in a Fur Coat

by Sabahattin Ali

In sum, he bore no resemblance to the sort of man who makes it his life’s main business to let the whole world know that he understands French.

But what I hate most is women always having to be passive…Why? Why are we always the ones running away and you are the ones chasing after us? Why is it always that we surrender and you take the spoils? Why is it that even in the way you beg, there is dominance, and pity in the way we refuse?

Once I became aware of all of this, it was impossible for me to truly love men. Even the ones I liked the most, and with whom I had the most in common — the moment would arrive when some minor provocation had them baring their wolfish teeth.

“If a person truly has the ability to love, then he can never monopolize his beloved. And neither can his beloved monopolize him. The more he spreads his love, the more he adores his one and only true love. When love spreads, it does not diminish.”

I LOVED THIS. I’ve always felt this way. But the patriarchy, white supremacy, and capitalism teach us to value virginity, reservation, and scarcity. This book puts words to things I’ve always felt to be true.

I concealed nothing, I felt no need to do so. Because I had no particular motive.

simply could not believe that you loved me that much, and so I assumed I wasn’t in love with you…Now I understand. It seems that people have taken from me the ability to believe…but now I can…you’ve taught me how…I love you…not madly, but I

love you with a clear mind.” This is what love feels like when you’ve healed.

For our lives were governed by trivial details. Indeed, trivial details were what true life was made of. The logic in our minds had always been at odds with the logic of life itself.

The pain of losing something precious — whether earthly happiness or material wealth — can be forgotten over time. But our missed opportunities never leave us, and every time they come back to haunt us, we ache.

How could I feel anger toward people? The one I had deemed most precious, splendid, and beloved had served me up the cruelest fate, so how could I expect anything else from the others?

Thank you for giving me the chance to be truly alive. Those few months were worth a few lifetimes, don’t you think?