Chuck Klosterman X: A Highly Specific, Defiantly Incomplete History of the Early 21st Century

by Chuck Klosterman

They just thought they were having a good time, but the results were astonishing. Though it may not have been their intent, the Beatles took performance-enhancing drugs. And this is germane to sports for one reason: Absolutely no one holds this against them. No one views Rubber Soul or Revolver as “less authentic” than the band’s earlier albums, despite the fact that they would not (and probably could not) have been made by people who weren’t on drugs. Jack Kerouac wrote On the Road on a Dexedrine binge, yet nobody thinks that makes his novel less significant. Wall Street stockbrokers get jacked up on cocaine before going into the trading pit, but nobody questions the merit of their business acumen. Kindergartners eat Ritalin like candy, but nobody discounts the validity of their Candy Land performance. It’s entirely possible you take 20 milligrams of Ambien the night before a difficult day at the office and then drink 32 ounces of coffee when you wake up (possibly with a mind-sharpening cigarette). Anytime a person takes drugs for purposes that aren’t exclusively recreational (i.e., staring at a ceiling fan, renting Planet of the Apes, etc.), he or she is using them to do something at a higher level. And—yes—I realize there is a difference between caffeine and HGH. They are not the same. But there’s an even greater difference between a morning of data processing and trying to cut block Shawne Merriman.