It has been brought to my attention that Mountain Dew can dissolve a mouse. This information comes not from some rival beverage critic, but from PepsiCo itself: In an attempt to get out of a lawsuit, the manufacturers of Mountain Dew are suggesting that—if a mouse were somehow trapped inside a bottle of Dew—the rodent would be turned into a gelatinous, unrecognizable blob. If true, such evidence would contradict the accusation of Ronald Ball, a Wisconsin man who claims to have purchased a Mountain Dew at a vending machine and found a dead mouse inside the bottle. As someone who’s consumed 32
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