The most important characteristic of the right questions is specificity. A good way to think about this is to look at the scientific method. When scientists—chemists, physicists, and yes, even psychologists—build theories, we test specific hypotheses about the phenomenon we’re studying. By the same token, if you can come up with a working hypothesis or two about how other people see you—for example, “I think I have a tendency to come across as timid and non-authoritative when I meet with clients; is that your experience?”—it will give you a focused framework for the conversation and help you
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