Insight: Why We Are Less Self-Aware Than We Think—and What to Do About It

by Tasha Eurich

KEY CONCEPTS AND TAKEAWAYS: CHAPTER 5 Introspection: The process of consciously examining our thoughts, feelings, motives, and behaviors. Rumination: A fixation on our fears, shortcomings, and insecurities The Four Follies of Introspection We can’t excavate our unconscious, no matter how hard we try. Trying to find the “why” behind our behavior isn’t helpful. Journaling isn’t universally effective. Though rumination can feel like a path to insight, it is actually the enemy to self-awareness. How to introspect the right way Choose the right approach: Not all self-reflection is useful. Focus less on the past and more on the future. Adopt a flexible mindset: Resist the urge to seek an “absolute truth.” Ask what, not why: “Why” questions trap us in our past; “what” questions help us see a better path forward. Don’t journal every day: When you do write, process both your thoughts and feelings. Rumination busters Remember that other people don’t care as much about our mistakes as we do. Adopt a learn-well mindset and focus on how your mistakes can help you grow. Hit pause with a distraction that has an immediate and positive reward. Picture a stop sign to remind yourself that it’s time to STOP the spiral of self-flagellating thoughts. Share your situation with a friend to get a more impartial perspective.