Just like Karen, most people believe that the answers to our inner mysteries lie deep within us, and that it’s our job to uncover them—either on our own or with the help of a therapist or loved one. Yet the assumption that introspection begets self-awareness is a myth. Unquestionably, Karen approached her introspective exercise with the earnest goal of better understanding herself. But without her realizing it, the process became what self-awareness researcher Timothy Wilson calls “disruptive.” Continually asking herself why her birth parents gave her up is the wrong question: not only is it
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