What the Hell Did I Just Read (John Dies at the End, #3)

by David Wong

“I don’t have a son. I never did.”

David yelled, “No! It’s an asshole! Get away!”

said, “Jesus, you don’t just sneak up behind people and start spouting wisdom at them. Not at this hour.”

In our natural state, we’re all smelly, sticky, angry creatures nobody would even pay to look at in a zoo. We’re all at war with that awful, primitive version of ourselves, every day. You’re scared. I get it. You’re scared you’re going to get cured and suddenly be this corny, boring person. Well, I have good news—there is no cure. You just wake up another day and fight it, day after day, until that’s who you become. A fighter. Look, it’s up to you. Only you can do this. But I’m not going to spend the rest of my life watching you slowly rot to pieces, stuck to the sofa like some kind of an airplane that is totally unable to take off from a treadmill, due to the laws of physics.”