Generational IQ for the Workplace and Home Collection

by Haydn Shaw

In the famous 1924 sociological studies in Muncie, Indiana, parents’ top priorities for their children were for them to be good church members, religious, and obedient. In 1999, when sociologists did detailed studies for comparison, the top two desired qualities were tolerance and independent thinking.

It’s okay to think about a different generation in the same way we might think about a different country—Nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there. Of course we will feel more comfortable with our own generation’s customs, music, approaches, and values. Our own generation will always feel like home. But that doesn’t mean we can’t visit other cultures and learn to appreciate them and to speak their language.

Once half a new generation hits the workplace, power begins to tip. The new generation begins eating lunch together, and it doesn’t take long for them to realize that everyone else at the table is changing from flip-flops into shoes in the parking lot. Then they begin to ask each other why. “If we work in an office or a customer service call center and don’t see customers, why can’t we wear flip-flops?”

The Traditionalists believed neckties were essential for men outside the home. You know what a necktie is? It won’t be long before you only see them in museums. Boomers were not as enthusiastic about ties. Boomers began, very gradually, to experiment with dropping the tie. And the Traditionalists were genuinely shocked. Religious organizations spent ten years fighting over whether you had to wear a tie to church, and millions of Boomers just quit going. (Unlike previous generations, Boomers didn’t wait their turn; they dropped out of church or joined congregations that didn’t require ties.)

There’s an episode of Friends, the ultimate Xer TV show, where Chandler Bing, one of the few characters with a corporate job, falls asleep in a meeting. Somebody asks him to move to the Tulsa office. He wakes up and says yes without knowing what they asked. Later on he realizes what he did. When he tells his girlfriend, Monica, that he’s moving to Tulsa, she says go ahead, but she’s not moving with him. The whole premise of the episode is that only if he were asleep would an Xer say yes to Tulsa without asking his spouse or partner. Contrast this attitude with the Boomers, who would have been jumping for Tulsa like dogs for a piece of bacon: “Tulsa? Is it a promotion?” “No, it’s a lateral move.” “Do I get a raise?” “No.” “Do you pay my moving expenses?” “Half.” “Okay, I’ll go, because it will look good on my résumé. If I don’t go, there are fifteen other people who would jump at the offer.”

We need to remember that thousands of Traditionalists fought casual, and now most workplaces no longer require the tie and jacket. Boomers worked long hours and relocated, and today we take for granted that candidates have to talk job offers over at home before they can give an answer on relocation.

Once we understand others, we realize that if we had been born where they were born and raised in the situation they were raised in, we would think a lot more like they do. Maybe, just maybe, they’re not so weird; maybe their differences have to do with their experiences. Maybe they came from a different world.

BUSINESS NECESSITY: Anything that will make you lose your foot, customer, money, or funding. GENERATIONAL PREFERENCE: Anything that is not a business necessity. If the policy doesn’t prevent you from losing a foot, a customer, money, or funding (if you are a nonprofit), then it’s a preference and should be flexed to accommodate different generational approaches.

Anyone who has Depression-era parents or grandparents has heard slogans like “Waste not, want not” and “Make do and mend.” Many of the oldest Traditionalists continue to reuse their tea bags even after years of economic stability.

The Great Depression taught Traditionalists to sacrifice and show patience. That lesson served them well during World War II. The most popular war in US history, World War II united the country like no other war before or since. Families gathered around the radio for war news, saved their cooking grease, and prayed for their men to come home. Those fighting in the war believed in the sacrifices they were making. Soldiers jumped out of Higgins boats on the beaches of Normandy on D-Day knowing that most of them would die but convinced death in victory was better than life lived under a totalitarian regime. So the Traditionalists learned to sacrifice their individuality for the cause—to sit down, shut up, and do what they were told. Traditionalists didn’t complain and often think younger people get upset about trivial things.

Traditionalists who ate cold C-ration meals in foxholes would have little patience for those who complain that the corporate cafeteria has too few low-calorie selections.

Before World War II ended, almost 15 million people had served in the United States military. It took the largest government program in history and millions of people who sacrificed their own individual goals and dreams to win the big war. As a result, Traditionalists had far more confidence in their leaders and large organizations than we do today.

In summary, because of World War II, Traditionalists witnessed the power of large government programs, larger-than-life leaders, and the accomplishments of a unified nation where everyone did his or her duty. They didn’t question authority at home because the threat overseas was far more terrifying. Though greater acceptance of working women would take another generation, the seeds of change sprouted in World War II. Most of all, Traditionalists learned the power of sacrifice and patience. Ironically, the most famous British poster from World War II was produced in case Germany invaded Britain, but it was never used. It later became so popular because it captures the wartime perspective of the Traditionalists: “Keep Calm and Carry On.”

That’s why the term delayed adolescence isn’t accurate or helpful. It implies the twentysomethings are refusing to let go of adolescence because of some character defect. Instead, sociologists have identified a new stage from ages eighteen to twenty-eight, which they call emerging adulthood because it comes after adolescence and before early adulthood. Because it takes longer to get an education and society doesn’t consider young people adults until their late twenties, it’s harder to find meaningful adult roles until later in life compared to past generations.

LIFE ON THE FARM MADE IT HARDER TO COMMIT CRIMES, ABUSE DRUGS, AND BECOME AN UNWED MOTHER. The migration from the farm to the city enabled many of the social ills that often get blamed on declining morals. Let’s be clear: rural settings have always had their share of problems. But it’s harder to rob someone if he or she knows who you are. And opium and cocaine were temptations of the city. Most farm people didn’t have access to them even if they wanted them. They may have gotten a little tipsy on dandelion wine or moonshine, but drugs didn’t impact rural areas until decades later.

Younger leaders, managers, and workers need to know about the Traditionalists’ ghosts: the Great Depression, World War II, the move from farm to city, and the echo of mass marketing and the voices of experts. Those apparitions still surface in the halls of businesses, in family gatherings, in nonprofit board meetings, and at the polling booths. The Traditionalists’ commitment to sacrifice, hard work, orderliness, structure, and authority brought us through times when it seemed the world might fall apart. Their alternative title, “Builders,” is apt: they built the world we live in today.

When Boomers act like workaholics (and expect you to as well), you have to remember how overcrowded hospitals, grade schools, sports teams, campuses, and job markets taught them that you have to compete to get what you want. Everyone made the park district Little League team in third grade, but only the best got to play, and only the very best got a trophy. The Boomers learned that if you didn’t put in the hours, somebody else would.

They don’t think of themselves as getting old, nor do they want other people treating them like they are. Boomers have always felt special and powerful, and institutions and advertisers have reinforced that idea by adjusting to please their biggest market.

the Boomers didn’t save money the way their Depression-era parents had. The economy was booming, and they were confident the money would be there when they needed it. (That may be why a March 2011 Associated Press–LifeGoesStrong.com poll found that the median retirement savings for Boomers is only $40,000—24 percent have saved nothing.[11]) They felt that they were witnessing the dawning of the “Age of Aquarius” (to borrow the title of the worldwide hit song of 1969).

It’s hard for Xers and Millennials, who grew up with so many sources of information and entertainment, to grasp how having only three television channels powerfully connected the Boomers and scripted their common language. Gilligan’s Island may have been corny, but Boomers can still sing the theme song because it was one of the few shows on.

Parents in the ’60s never knew what hit them. They thought they were giving their children a better life than they’d had by making the world “safe for democracy” and by providing new suburban homes and educational opportunities. But the teenage Baby Boomers questioned their parents’ beliefs (and those of their teachers and leaders), listened to rock and roll, grew their hair long, and tried to spend all their time with friends in what seemed like their own world, embarrassed to be seen with their parents. After generations had struggled to keep their kids safe, fed, educated, healthy, and free, the Traditionalists were finally able to give their kids all these wrapped up in a bow called the American dream—and the kids rejected it. The Traditionalists couldn’t believe that educational achievement dropped while drug use, teen pregnancies, and crime rose.[16] By 1974, over 40 percent of Boomers said they would be better off without their parents.[17] Traditionalists had no idea that the suburban lifestyle, affluence, and education they gave their children would cause a shift in thinking to a mind-set so different from the past generations. Previous generations had their squabbles, but this generation gap felt like a canyon that even Evel Knievel couldn’t jump. Social forces were pulling the generations apart. The move from farms to suburbs that World War II sped up created a new subculture—the teenager. Before World War II, the word teenager was rarely used, because teens wer...

If the Boomers had a slogan, it was “do your own thing.”

Americans responded to the threats on their optimism about their financial future not by putting aside their emphasis on the self and returning to the self-denial and sacrifice of the Traditionalists but by ushering in a decade of conspicuous consumption headlined by the Yuppies (Young, Urban, Upwardly Mobile Professionals). The bestselling Yuppie Handbook announced the new rules: “The name of the game is the best—buying it, owning it, using it, eating it, wearing it, growing it, cooking it, driving it, doing whatever with it.”[26] Rather than give up their “great expectations,” Boomers turned from self-exploration and building a better world to outcompeting everyone else so they could get a bigger piece of what seemed like a much smaller pie.

The Boomers’ ghost stories make it clear that special is the right word, not arrogant. The Boomers grew up thinking they were special—that the world was theirs for the taking if they worked hard and stayed true to their inner selves.

Donkey Kong is a great metaphor for Generation X. If Tinker Bell’s pixie dust symbolizes the almost magical optimism of the Baby Boomers, Donkey Kong symbolizes the unrelenting challenges that Generation X had to overcome, as well as the technological tools that seemed to give them a way to do it. Generation Xers grew up in a world that was running out of pixie dust. Divorce, latchkey kids, multiple recessions, global competition, missing children on milk cartons—Gen Xers learned to roll with the bad news and land on their feet. Their lives matched their video games because Donkey Kong had to swing from vines and then land on his feet or fall to his death.

Because Gen Xers see themselves as realists, “Get real” was a commonly heard phrase that meant quit spinning things, quit trying to force a happy ending, quit producing the sentimental, simplistic sitcoms of the Boomer era. The entertainment industry picked up this change in thinking, and the word real began popping up in movies, music, and television show titles. While the Boomers tried to fix society so it was fair, Xers learned that life isn’t fair, and so they lampooned it. They watched shows like The Simpsons and created a new way to get their news with The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Gen X parodied and rewired the world they inherited.

Gen Xers being squished between two large generations means marketers and the entertainment industry pay less attention to them. As a small generation, they have less political clout. They will inherit the consequences of previous generations’ excesses but will not have the political muscle to outvote them.

I sometimes joke with audiences that Boomers could tell from the two-pack-a-day death rattles in their Traditionalist bosses’ chests that they only had to wait a few more years before a new spot would open up for them. But with exercise, healthy eating, and a bit of Botox, Boomers look good, and that means Xers can no longer tell how old their Boomer bosses really are, so they can’t gauge how much longer they have to wait to get their bosses’ jobs. As a result, Xers are like England’s Prince Charles, spending much of their careers waiting for long-living bosses to move on. The March 2011 cover of Philadelphia magazine shone a spotlight on this with their headline: Dear Baby Boomers, JUST DIE ALREADY. (We’ll take Philly from here. Thanks.) XOXO, Generation X.

In between the slapstick, the long-running television show Friends told many of the ghost stories that made sense of Xers’ lives. The show didn’t focus on family, because the characters’ parents were distant and dysfunctional. Since their family relationships were unsupportive, the friends turned to each other, just as many Xers had done.

“I don’t go to work to find meaning or significance. I don’t want to sign my name to another mission statement brought back from an executive retreat up in the mountains somewhere. It’s just a job! I do it well, and then I go home to what’s most important. Why do the older generations have to make it into something more than that?”

despite remaining squished between two massive generations and juggling family and jobs in a downward economy, Gen Xers still retain their sense of humor. They still want organizations to quit spinning the facts and “get real.” They still lampoon the world they rewired in the digital revolution. And they still look at life like a video game: you don’t have any control over the vines that come your way, but you can always try to land on your feet. Life is Donkey Kong.

September 11, 2001, shaped Millennial culture in at least two major ways. First, Millennials learned to not wait until tomorrow to do something important, because tomorrow may never arrive. For example, Millennials have a higher rate of volunteerism than other generations did at the same age. Second, and related, they have a strong impulse to keep work and life in balance. They see no reason to sacrifice everything today for a future reward that may never come.

Technology makes the Millennials important to the older generations. Most parents of Millennial kids know how valuable their children are when it comes to technology. After spending an unsuccessful hour on the phone with technical support, I can hand my smartphone to my son Max. He has it working in two minutes. “Dad,” he’ll say, grinning, “it’s not a smartphone until you can work all the buttons.” Even though he’s right, I think, I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. But I never would: his technical support is too important to me. Millennials know how valuable they are when it comes to technology. They are the first generation in history to have more experience with the tools that will shape our future than the generations before them.

Technology gave the Millennials freedom. Traditionalists, Boomers, and most Gen Xers found freedom from their parents outdoors. But the Millennials weren’t allowed to play outside alone—life seemed too unpredictable. So their parents made them play indoors, where it was safe. Millennials found freedom from their parents’ control on the Internet.

those who ignore or disparage Millennials won’t get much argument from them; they’ll be ignored. The Millennials who work for them will pack up the ideas (and with it their enthusiasm) that they so badly wanted to contribute. They’ll smile and nod and then go back to texting people who care about what they think. Those managers and organizations will miss out.

Only 6 percent of Traditionalists and 15 percent of Baby Boomers have tattoos, so back in their day, tattoos made a big statement. But almost four in ten Millennials and one in three Xers have them,[5] so often there’s no message intended other than it’s now no big deal. (You know tattoos are no longer symbols of rebellion when parents and children get them at the same time as a bonding experience.)

One tip for flexing your approach to be more effective with Millennials is to keep it low key. A highly respected surgeon told my dinner party that the resident doctors she supervises (and her teenage son) think she yells at them, something she doesn’t believe she does. A recent newspaper column she read, however, made her realize she’s not alone. This columnist described work conversations where Millennials felt they had been yelled at even when their bosses hadn’t raised their voices or used profanity. The boss just firmly expressed disagreement.[8] Everyone around the table told stories of how their Millennial employees or children have told them to stop yelling when they thought they were acting like Mr. Rogers compared to the lectures they’d received from bosses or parents. Millennials aren’t used to being “bossed” as much as the other generations. It wasn’t merely in the home that communication styles changed. Sports coaches or teachers that yelled more than they praised drew harsh complaints from parents. Additionally Millennials are used to more affirming forms of negative feedback than the older generations may be used to giving. Older generations, think TV therapist—counsel, don’t yell. Millennials, we don’t mean it personally, so don’t take it personally. We don’t think we’re yelling unless we actually raise our voices.

Xers think life is too short to not do something they enjoy, but they don’t expect work to be fun, nor do they see work as a primary source of identity or personal satisfaction, as the Boomers do. They frequently say that the Boomers try to make work into something it’s not. Xers want to do good work, and they want to do work they enjoy, but it’s still work. That’s why you have to mix in some fun along the way. What Xers don’t want is preplanned fun that feels forced and makes meetings go longer, keeping them from getting out the door on time. Boomers started meetings with icebreakers like “think of a fruit that best matches your personality” to get fun onto the agenda (and keep it contained and controlled). But Xers grimace at icebreakers because they feel artificial. Get real, they think. Fun instead comes from seeing the humor in a situation and enjoying the moment with their colleagues.

In 1940, only 24 percent of the population twenty-five and over had completed high school, and 5 percent had bachelor’s degrees, so far more learned from on-the-job schooling.[7] As they worked, they learned rules and values by listening to their elders tell stories, often the same ones hundreds of times. Anthropologists refer to this way of transferring knowledge as oral tradition. Many cultures still rely on stories and storytellers to pass on their values and customs to the next generation.