I’m also wondering about this unfamiliar calm that has settled over me in the last several days—ever since the doctor on the phone spoke the word cancer. At the same time as I have watched the terror build in John’s eyes, I have felt somehow relieved. It has happened, I keep thinking. The terrible thing. This is what the terrible thing feels like. Somehow, a lovely space has opened up inside my chest, a little, deep pool in the thickest woods.
