I often say to my patients that if they could bring into their relationships even a tenth of the boldness, the playfulness, and the verve that they bring to their affairs, their home life would feel quite different. Our creative imagination seems to be richer when it comes to our transgressions than to our commitments. Yet while I say this, I also think back to a poignant scene in the movie A Walk on the Moon. Pearl (Diane Lane) has been having an affair with a free-spirited blouse salesman. Alison, her teenage daughter, asks, “Do you love the blouseman more than all of us?” “No,” her mother
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