Whether the ending is done in person or in writing, it must be responsible, mature, caring, and clear. I coach Jim in great detail on what to say, working through several iterations. He needs to acknowledge the reciprocity of their feelings, appreciate the depth of what they shared, apologize for the false promises, set clear boundaries, and give her closure. These are the essential elements of a goodbye. It is not that he doesn’t love her, but rather, that because he loves her he is leaving her. And once it is done, it needs to be definitive; he can’t leave her any threads of hope to grab on
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