adage that “men use love to get sex, while women use sex to get love” on its head. Both men and women turn up in the therapist’s office when their disavowed desires lead them to the wrong bed. But if we take their behavior at face value and label them with the old tags—men as cheaters, sex addicts, or worse; women as lonely and love-starved—their true motives and longings are driven deeper underground.
