Couples like Matt and Mercedes may decide to separate—maybe now, maybe later, maybe never. But I would hope whatever they choose will be the result of a thoughtful reflection on their respective needs and whether they can draw a circle that is big enough to encompass both of them with integrity. I’m sure that for all involved, this would be preferable to adulterous recidivism. When a second infidelity occurs, people are quick to say, “once a cheater, always a cheater,” as if it were confirmation of a character flaw. But sometimes a more accurate explanation is that the core issue was never
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