One person chooses to have an affair, but in most cases, both people are responsible for the relational context in which it occurs. When the time is right, in the course of therapy, couples need to engage in a two-way examination. But in this process, one distinction must always be made: taking responsibility for creating conditions that may have contributed to the affair is very different from blaming oneself for the affair. In a state of shock, it’s too easy to confuse the two. Your disproportionate self-condemnation can quickly summon up everything you don’t like about yourself as being the
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