I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons

by Kevin Hart

to the lonely girls who hung out in the library. When I worked up the courage to ask one of the cute but overlooked library girls to a movie, she responded, “No, that’s not really my thing. I’m into books.”

People do a lot of things to make life hard for themselves, but one of the stupidest is guys who desperately want sex talking shit about the women most likely to give it to them.

Her reaction hurt me more than the test results. She’d sacrificed so much for me, and I’d repaid her with apathy, cockiness, and ingratitude. There was no way to think or talk or joke myself out of this. I’d fucked up.

That’s the test that each of us faces in life: Can you fail and still be strong? Can you not fit in and still accept yourself? Can you lose everything and still keep searching? Can you be in the dark and still believe in the light?

Because no matter how low you go and how lost you feel, there is always tomorrow. And tomorrow just may be the day when you get lifted up and find your way.

There is just one thing that tomorrow demands of you to make this happen: that you never stop believing in yo...

Don’t invite them into the conversation. You already know what you want to dedicate yourself to, so you don’t need to ask for their approval. There’s no need to seek external approval when you already have internal approval.

The problem is, many people want you to do things, up to the point where they lose control of you. As long as they’re still your boss or mentor or partner or good friend, it’s fine. But if it starts pulling you away from them or making you more successful than them or keeping you too busy to see them as much, then your dream can become their threat.

I wanted to be as funny, natural, and polished as the headlining comedians there. I wanted to be as successful as them. I wanted to be playing on stages that big every night. I wanted to make as much money as they were probably making. And . . . I wanted to make my girlfriend laugh that hard.

“Shit, my whole fan base, man!” My fan base was like twenty-seven people.

Mom, help me. I’d never before, as an adult, been so scared that I wanted to run to my mama.

“Dick suck everything.”

What does that even mean?? Lmaoo!!

He quickly gathered as many bills as he could and walked off stage.

I recalled the lesson I’d learned as the little guy in school: With humor and logic—or even better, humorous logic—you could disarm someone without fighting.

Suddenly, I heard quiet, begrudging laughter, the kind that happens when someone keeps their mouth closed and the chuckle escapes through their nose in a little puff of air. It was the smallest laugh I ever got, but it was the biggest relief. In that moment, something broke open inside me, and a wave of calm washed through my body. I became comfortable within my fear. I realized that what these guys had been picking up on the whole time was people trying too hard. It was exactly what Keith and TuRae had told me I needed to stop doing. And because these guys were predators—trained to sniff out and pounce on the slightest vulnerability—they were more attuned to weakness than even the most discerning comedy crowd. I was surviving this only because, for the first time in my short comedy career, I wasn’t trying. I was just being.

It is through our most extreme experiences that the biggest growth happens—if we survive them. That night, I learned how to be vulnerable on stage.

I ain’t going, I decided on the spot.

Then, on the next spot, I decided, All right, fuck it; I’m going.

A firm “no” is the ugliest sound in the world, and it triggers a defensive response in the brain: “Naw, you’re wrong!” But he was right: I wasn’t ready. I still knew nothing about the art of comedy. The problem was not Keith’s slowness. It was my impatience.

Keith was relentlessly critical when I asked for feedback. The biggest lesson I learned from him was how to hear a “no” or a “stupid” or a “Get the fuck outta here with that” and to not take it personally, but instead see if there was a lesson behind it.

Cultivating the ability to listen to advice I didn’t want to hear, objectively evaluate it, and know when to implement it didn’t come naturally to me. I had to learn it the hard way, from someone who was very difficult to listen to. It was one of the most valuable gifts Keith gave me.

I often speak about the value of hard work, but hard work is not enough. I’ve seen many people sabotage their career before it’s even started by refusing to do anything unless they’re compensated or rewarded directly for it. Or they become bitter, expecting that they’ll be rewarded in exchange for just working hard. One of the key factors for success—beyond work, talent, timing, relationships, and all the other qualities I’ve mentioned—is the glue that holds all of these together: commitment.

What is commitment? Here’s what it means to me: keeping the promises you make to yourself and to others. I promised my mother I’d figure out a way to survive in comedy. I promised myself I’d find a road out of Philadelphia and on to bigger opportunities. I promised Keith I’d trust him and stick with the process.

It just takes one person to say one thing, and your whole life can change. If success happens in part by chance, then the more you expose yourself to it, the luckier you will be. I worked hard in order to get lucky.

I pride myself on being a good guy. There’s no bullshit with me. When negative shit comes my way, I try to bat it back with positivity. I haven’t always succeeded, but I’ve eventually learned from my mistakes. It’s not a technique I use: It’s the way I was raised. My mother worked hard to make sure I had a good heart, that I wasn’t an animal, that I didn’t treat other people like objects. No one is above anybody and no one is below anybody, she taught, so if you’re treating people in any other way, you are out of line with

In most action movies, one person rises out of a humble beginning to discover that they have been chosen by destiny to save the world. But that’s not how it works in real life. You rise out of your humble beginning to become part of a community, and it is only together and as equals that we will save the world.

What soon followed was one of the lowest points I ever hit, and it fills me with an amount of shame that’s beyond words. When we are triggered at the place where our deepest wounds lie, we respond with what we know, and what I knew was what I’d seen my parents do when they were fighting. At one point, Torrei spit on me. I let loose a volley of curses at her, and she lunged at me. Next thing I knew, I looked up and I had scratches all over my neck and head, and she had a red, swelling mark on her face. The next day, we didn’t talk to each other. I was so mad at myself for what I’d done. Eventually, one of us crawled back to the other to apologize, we had incredible sex, and then we acted as if everything was fine.

“So you’re telling me that I should talk about what’s going on with Torrei?” “Damn right.” Keith and I were on our way to New York again. “Every time we’re in the car, you’re telling me about all this shit you’re going through with her and getting mad cause I’m laughing at your dumb ass. But it is funny. Problems are funny. You think you’re the only one in the world that’s going through relationship problems, dummy? How many guys will breathe a sigh of relief if they can look at their woman during your set and say, ‘See, we ain’t the only ones who get like that. There’s other couples that’s crazy too.’ ”

I caught an early bus to New York the next day and went to the Roc-A-Fella office. There were framed multiplatinum album awards all over the walls. Everybody was dressed in Rocawear. They were all talking excitedly about new albums, artists, and deals. Jay Z walked through the front door and right past me.

We started going to Charlie’s house two days a week to work on the script, which was about a good kid on parole trying to make ends meet by robbing houses.

The movie, Paper Soldiers, was the first film set I’d been on.

“Naw man, that shit-ass.

I think Dame Dash paid me $175 for the whole thing. And it was worth it.

Almost every day, a friend of his named Seth Rogen came over, and they smoked a shitload of weed in the living room. It was the first time I’d hung out with productive stoners. They talked about the show, got excited about other projects they were auditioning for, and came up with hilarious movie ideas, most of which were still funny when the high wore off.

A lot of my philosophy is that life is about making the right choices in the dark. Many

My answer: When it comes to the future, it’s impossible to have any certainty. I may appear to be certain, because I’ve learned to have confidence in my abilities and faith in my will to succeed. But what I don’t know—and what no human being knows—is how we will fulfill our destiny as individuals and what that destiny will be.

If you wait for certainty, you will spend your whole life standing still. And if you grow discouraged and give up when things get rough, you’ll miss out on your best possible destiny. So the secret is to be excited about what is in your power to control, be accepting of what’s not in your power to control, and then move with certainty into an uncertain future.

This of course leaves open the question of what direction you should move in. The answer: Pay attention, dummy. Life is pulling you there automatically. You don’t have to know. You ...

We live in a culture where it’s so hard to make money, yet so easy to spend it. Whoever designed the system is a genius: I never even saw the money itself. It was just a big number on a small piece of paper.

She gave me some wise advice before she left: “If you ever hear the words no and can’t, ignore them. They don’t exist. Don’t let them get in the way of the goals you need to accomplish.”

“Mom, why do you even need a master’s degree? Like, what are you studying for?” I asked. Her answer: “Everything.” She loved learning, which is something else she passed on to me. I must have attended four different graduation ceremonies to celebrate degrees she’d earned.

Rather than trying to elevate the art of comedy, they were trying to elevate their mood with clubbing, drinks, and women.

One of the reasons I was able to survive all the rejection was because it was so familiar from my childhood. Can I play with my friends? No. Can I go to a movie? No. Can I check out that party for just a few minutes? Hell no.

Every experience is a potential life lesson. Even if you don’t appreciate it at the time, each struggle in the present is preparing you for something else in the future.

Hollywood is a horrible place for a relationship, especially since Torrei and I had packed all our emotional ...

And I was right there with them, throwing my life away. I didn’t want to be home. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. I didn’t want to be arguing all the time. I didn’t want to be stressed out about my career. I wanted to be at the clubs drinking.

But there was a big gap between my intentions and my actions. I started our new life out with a lie that, to this day, Torrei still isn’t aware of.

Thats deep. I wonder why he never told her and if she ASKED after reading this book

I had on a pair of Diesel jeans, white Air Force 1s, and a black T-shirt under a leather blazer. Torrei wore a beautiful sundress. I was twenty-goddamn-three years old and flat broke. It was fucking nuts.

According to Spank, Torrei responded, “Spank, I ain’t even hear nothing in the bathroom. I just like to push his buttons.”

Stupid shit😣🙄😤😤

Most importantly, he gave the show a theme. Kevin Hart, as we creatively decided to name the main character, defined himself through his valuable toys—cars, watches, clothes. But his relatives in Philadelphia defined themselves by internal values. The show would be about Kevin discovering who he was and what he stood for. The big idea was that losing everything materially would ultimately make him rich spiritually.