Notes of a Crocodile

by Qiu Miaojin

The moment I experienced your tender side, I gave myself completely. That’s why it hurts so much that your cruel side took my love and never returned it.

Tell me, just this once, if you still think of me. And let me recklessly, tenderly, tell you one more time: I love you.

But the problem was the way I loved: It was the very cause of my pain.

On how to love well: Instead of embracing a romantic ideal, you must confront the meaning of every great love that has shattered, shard by shard.

In the end, it wasn’t love. We could love, and love would leave us, or we couldn’t love, and love wouldn’t leave us. That was the ultimate meaning. Blessing or curse, there was no escaping it.