Stuff I've Been Feeling Lately

by Alicia Cook

The strongest people I know have been overtaken by their weaknesses. They know what it’s like to lose control. The strongest people I know have cried in the shower and in their car. They know loss and guilt all too well. The strongest people I know aren’t bulletproof. They have felt the searing pain of life’s shots. The strongest people I know make the decision every day to wake up and place their two feet on the ground even though they know the monsters beneath their bed will grab at their ankles. The strongest people I know are not strong by definition, at all. They are mistake-makers. They are mess-creators. They are survivors.

My heart broke, but kept ticking.

Not attempting for fear of failing is like not living for fear of dying. It is impossible to escape this world unscathed. So, embrace this m e s s y, un certain existence and live.

Pain will make you stronger, but it will make you a lot of other things first.

I have lost my voice trying to convince people I love of their own potential. I have been the collateral damage to a number of life tragedies that were not directly my own. I’ve swept up messes I haven’t created and dried tears I haven’t cried. I’ve aged just by witnessing others lose years. Self-destruction destroys more than just the individual.

If I could highlight the last part of that highlight I would!!!!

I do believe the sun will come out after each storm, though no one knows how long one of life’s storms will last. Could be a passing shower, could be a yearlong monsoon. You aren’t a fictional green witch; you will not melt if you get a little wet. I would say learn to dance in the rain but that’s too much of a Goddamn cliché these days; at the very least, find the simple joy of jumping in the puddles life creates. Currently Listening To: Gene Kelly, “Singin’ in the Rain”