Sit With It: A New Paradigm for Living

by Xavier Alexander Vazquez

Utilizing relationships solely for the pleasure we derive from them is a very potent way to distract ourselves from inner distress, perhaps the most potent. The opinion of others is intoxicating whether one realizes it or not. Entire lives are lived in fear of losing positive esteem from others. The attempt to maintain approval from others is a strong motivating factor when making lifestyle, relationship, and career choices. There are those who criticize themselves so that others will not; this is the root of perfectionism. Self-criticism and over-achievement are forms of self-protection. They are behaviors covertly meant to protect the pleasure received from the positive attention of others. Procrastination is the need for positive attention to the point of hesitation and inaction. The possibility of losing someone’s respect or praise causes one to delay taking actions that are necessary and/or desired.