Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?: And Other Questions You Should Have Answers to When You Work in the White House

by Alyssa Mastromonaco

She did. OK. I went to Mary Beth—whom I liked very much—and told her we were getting pushback about making people share rooms. (If “pushback” sounds like one of those office code words you use to say something without really saying it—that’s because it is.) Mary

There is no bigger compliment than being intellectually curious about what someone else spends his or her days doing—it turned out that not having the answers did me no harm. The feedback I got was that the WHMO directors all “felt good about my leadership.”

being in control and taking a beat to think about the next five steps—about what comes next—is critical. You would be surprised what five minutes here, 15 minutes there, can do to make you feel confident and ready.

I was being my own worst enemy. One of my main goals in writing this book is to give you the permission to admit to feeling or doing things that are silly; once you do, you can get on with your life.

Out of left field, VICE asked me what I thought I should make. If anyone ever asks you this—and they probably will—do not give a number. Sometimes employers will ask what your current salary is, and unfortunately, you cannot fib there; if they call your reference and it’s your boss, they could find out what you’re making now and know you’ve lied, which looks so much worse than working for a lower-than-average paycheck. But if anyone asks you to tell them what you want, you should respond as follows: “I’m sure there’s a salary band for the position, and my hope would be to come in at the high end of that.” I, however, sat down and did what I thought was thoughtful and considered math: I incorporated what I could expect to bring in through fees for speaking events, what I had made working in the government, my experience level, and what other companies had floated as salaries to me when I met with them. I came up with a number, and I sent it to VICE. I’ll say it again: Don’t do this!!!!! When they came back with less than what I’d asked for, instead of chalking it up to negotiation tactics and calling Bob, I was shocked. All my bros from the White House didn’t seem to run into this issue when they got their first jobs post–White House; as far as I knew, they’d just gotten their offers and accepted. (This is probably not what happened.) At the time, I don’t think I realized my confidence was still simmering on low. Maybe I wasn’t who I thought I was? I talked them up a bit an...

One of the good things about being resilient is that, when you’re forced to veer off course, you pick up skills you didn’t realize you needed. That was probably the most I’ve ever struggled professionally, but I’m still here. Being resilient means being honest: You have to admit when you’re struggling. Usually, someone will help you.

The importance of kindness—which extends far beyond “please,” “thank you,” and “your hair doesn’t look bad today”—is a combination of both: Over and over in my life, I’ve been bowled over by how kind people can be, and how that kindness can change your outlook.

Larry taught me two very important lessons. The first: Never judge a book by its cover (or the articles written about it). The second: Always make time to help a gal out. Kindness—you can call it generosity, or goodwill—really means something.