For modern lovers the idea of “taking space” is like the fisherman’s little snowhouse, where he thinks he is safe. Sometimes this fear of confronting the death nature is distorted into “begging off,” trying to keep only the pleasurable sides of the relationship going without dealing with Skeleton Woman. That will never work. It causes lovers who are not “taking space” immense anxiety, for they themselves are willing to meet Skeleton Woman. They have primed themselves, they have reinforced themselves, they are attempting to keep their fears balanced. And now, just as they are ready to untangle
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