“I notice you just shifted the conversation to talk about being gay. Did you notice? Can you say more about why you moved away from talking about race?” Another approach I have used is to acknowledge the pain of the person’s marginalized experience before I refocus the conversation back onto race, “I can’t imagine what that must have been like. I am so sorry you experienced that. My guess is the pain and anger you feel may be a window to understand what many people of color may be feeling from the persistent violence of racism in their lives. As you heard all the stories we have been sharing
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