Recently, I have heard many stories from whites about family gatherings where their white family members made blatant racist statements, such as “All Lives Matter!” Or derogatory statements related to people of color and welfare or Affirmative Action. Most of the white people reported feeling stuck and frozen, afraid to engage for fear of escalating the racist dynamics. In addition to the tools and approaches I discussed in Chapter 7, I might respond in these moments by asking a few questions, such as, “I’m trying to remember the first time I heard that statement. Do you remember? I wonder who
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