There are many other ways white people react unproductively when people of color try to give us feedback about our behaviors. Have you ever argued that people of color misunderstood what you said? Or that this was just an isolated incident, and you were just triggered and misspoke in the heat of the moment? Or have you tried to explain away your actions by claiming your comment actually had nothing to do with race? Or have you started credentialing and saying how your good friend, who happens to be black, uses that same phrase, so what is the big deal? Have you tried to defend what you did by
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