One of the biggest surprises in this process was the feeling of compassion I began to experience for myself and for other white people for the destructive impact of the racist socialization in our lives. I felt deep grief for how I had traded my humanity for the illusion of superiority and white privilege, and I discovered a new ground of being from which to engage other whites. I believe the first step to healing internalized dominance is to admit and own the truth about our racist behaviors and then to sit with the pain of realizing the impact we have had on people of color. This process is
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