one of the only ways I got any relief from my deep shame was to blame and shame other white people as I aggressively confronted them on their racist behaviors. As long as I could focus on others and judge them, I could avoid focusing on myself. I thought I was doing good work, when in reality, I was rarely very helpful. In fact, my actions may have interfered with the growth and development of the white people with whom I interacted. I was coming out of negative and selfish intentions: trying to prove I was a good white person at their expense.
