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My own consistent struggle is to recognize my addictive tendency to validate my worth (dignity) by curating an unrealistic and unattainable projection of who I think I need to be (identity).
“Every unrealistic expectation is a resentment waiting to happen.” And as I constantly fail to meet my own standards, the resentment keeps me trapped.
Nouwen suggested we all find ourselves bouncing around three very human lies that we believe about our identity: I am what I have, I am what I do, and I am what other people say or think about me.*
Keating explains that as children we all need an appropriate amount of power and control, affection and esteem, and security and survival for healthy psychological grounding. But as we mature, our tendency is to overidentify with one of these programs for happiness, keeping us developmentally and spiritually stuck.
The contemporary Enneagram of Personality* illustrates the nine ways we get lost, but also the nine ways we can come home to our True Self. Put another way, it exposes nine ways we lie to ourselves about who we think we are, nine ways we can come clean about those illusions, and nine ways we can find our way back to God.
Type One strives for principled excellence as moral duty. • Type Two strives for lavish love through self-sacrifice. • Type Three strives for appreciative recognition through curated successes. • Type Four strives for the discovery of identity for faithful authenticity. • Type Five strives for decisive clarity through thoughtful conclusions. • Types Six strives for steady constancy through confident loyalty. • Type Seven strives for imaginative freedom for inspirational independence. • Type Eight strives for impassioned intensity
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The movement from basic knowledge to principled understanding to embodied integration is the idealized essence of mastery in any growth process—including the Enneagram.
Great synopsis of adoption
Type One The Need to Be Perfect Type Two The Need to Be Needed Type Three The Need to Succeed Type Four The Need to Be Special (or Unique) Type Five The Need to Perceive (or Understand) Type Six The Need to Be Sure/Certain (or Secure) Type Seven The Need to Avoid Pain Type Eight The Need to Be Against Type Nine The Need to Avoid
The Holy Ideas of the Enneagram epitomize the lucidity of a mind integrated with one’s heart and body, evidenced in the consolidation of mindfulness and self-realization.
The traditional Holy Ideas as developed by Ichazo are as follows: Type One Perfection Type Two Will, Freedom Type Three Harmony, Hope Type Four Origin Type Five Transparency Type Six Strength, Faith Type Seven Wisdom Type Eight Truth Type Nine Love
The traditional Virtues of each type are as follows: Type One Serenity Type Two Humility Type Three Truthfulness, Authenticity Type Four Equanimity, Emotional Balance Type Five Detachment Type Six Courage Type Seven Sobriety Type Eight Innocence Type Nine Action
So the Fixation and Passion of each Enneagram type become a sort of addiction loop, a misguided attempt to find our way home, back to our True Self where we are aligned with our Holy Idea and Virtue.
Type One Resentment Type Two Flattery Type Three Vanity Type Four Melancholy Type Five Stinginess Type Six Cowardice Type Seven Planning Type Eight Vengeance Type Nine Indolence
Type One Anger Type Two Pride Type Three Deceit Type Four Envy Type Five Avarice Type Six Fear Type Seven Gluttony Type Eight Lust Type Nine Sloth
Many of us don’t know how to hear from God in the present, so we make the mistake of believing God is somehow waiting for us in the future.
Discernment is our ability to judge what is good, true, and beautiful. Discernment is also the inner knowledge of how to act on that which we perceive.
What’s more, the centers explain something about each of the nine Enneagram types by helping identify a person’s most accessible emotional response or reaction: anxiety or distress for the Head Center, fear or shame for the Heart Center, and frustration or anger for the Body Center.
Sevens feel an inner compulsion to maintain access to opportunity as a way of experiencing freedom.
Head people may be the most afraid of their own pain. They think they are unable to emotionally engage their pain through their feelings, so they minimize it.
Sevens are concerned that their pain will limit their freedoms and so they try to reject it entirely.
Sevens are afraid that answers will bring completion to an internal journey that is unending.
Sevens deny and avoid pain and create fun and fantasy. All three are clever ways of largely living in your head.”1
Twos want to be loved for who they are;
Healthy heart people become a source of love in the world, doing good and bringing balance, but when unhealthy, they lose their sense of self by comparing themselves with others. Twos begin to believe their needs no longer matter,
heart people may “unceasingly develop activities to secure the devotion or attention of others. Twos pose as loveable and helpful,
For heart people to practice and grow in discernment means they must learn to trust their feelings.
gut people who experience life through intuitive instincts and tactile engagement with their senses.
Gut people are generally more impassioned than emotional, and their great determination is often the source of their pain.
Wouch!
By externalizing their interior irritations, gut people assert their desire for control by becoming the solution to the drama they’ve created:
Usually gut people don’t know what to do with their feelings. In fact, they tend to dissociate from them.
Nines are more passive, suppressing their anger until it is finally triggered (often catching themselves and others off guard by it).
Nines the most disjointed from their bodies (experienced in the ways they calm down their external environments through the mellowing energy they project).
Nines flee or take flight, which is consistent with their tendency to function in the role of peacemaker, always avoiding confrontation.
Holy Ideas Virtues Type One Holy Perfection Serenity Type Two Holy Will, Freedom Humility Type Three Holy Harmony, Hope Truthfulness, Authenticity Type Four Holy Origin Equanimity, Emotional Balance Type Five Holy Transparency Detachment Type Six Holy Strength, Faith Courage Type Seven Holy Wisdom Sobriety Type Eight Holy Truth Innocence Type Nine Holy Love Action
Basic Desire Type One To be good, to have integrity Type Two To feel love Type Three To feel valuable Type Four To be themselves Type Five To be capable and competent Type Six To have support and guidance Type Seven To be satisfied Type Eight To protect themselves Type Nine To have peace of mind and wholeness
Basic Fear Type One Of being bad, imbalanced, defective, corrupt Type Two Of being unloved Type Three Of being worthless, without inherent value Type Four Of having no identity or significance Type Five Of being helpless, incompetent, and incapable Type Six Of being without support and guidance Type Seven Of being trapped in pain and deprivation Type Eight Of being harmed, controlled, and violated Type Nine Of being lost, separated, and fragmented
Passion Fixation Type One Anger Resentment Type Two Pride [Self-Abnegation] Flattery Type Three Deceit Vanity Type Four Envy Melancholy Type Five Avarice Stinginess Type Six Fear Cowardice Type Seven Gluttony Planning Type Eight Lust Vengeance Type Nine Sloth Indolence
TYPE TWO Holy Idea Holy Will, Holy Freedom Virtue Humility Basic Desire To feel love Basic Fear Being unloved Fixation Flattery Passion Pride Direction of Integration Type Four Direction of Disintegration Type Eight
Twos are gracious and generous, naturally giving of themselves, usually in the most befitting ways.
Because their Childhood Wound involves the pain of trying to suppress their own needs, Twos experience deep shame when forced to acknowledge their own needs or ask for their needs to be met. Frequently Twos will take whatever they can get,
fear that they aren’t loved for who they are but only for what they give others.
TYPE THREE Holy Idea Holy Harmony, Holy Law, Holy Hope Virtue Truthfulness, Authenticity Basic Desire To feel valuable Basic Fear Being worthless Fixation Vanity Passion Deceit Direction of Integration Type Six Direction of Disintegration Type Nine
Holy Idea Holy Origin Virtue Equanimity, Emotional Balance Basic Desire To be themselves Basic Fear Having no identity or significance Fixation Melancholy Passion Envy Direction of Integration Type One Direction of Disintegration Type Two
TYPE FIVE Holy Idea Holy Omniscience, Holy Transparency Virtue Detachment Basic Desire To be capable and competent Basic Fear Being helpless, incompetent, and incapable Fixation Stinginess Passion Avarice Direction of Integration Type Eight Direction of Disintegration Type Seven
Holy Idea Holy Strength, Holy Faith Virtue Courage Basic Desire To have support and guidance Basic Fear Being without support and guidance Fixation Cowardice Passion Fear Direction of Integration Type Nine Direction of Disintegration Type Three
TYPE SEVEN Holy Idea Holy Wisdom, Holy Work, Holy Plan Virtue Sobriety Basic Desire To be satisfied Basic Fear Being trapped in pain and deprivation Fixation Planning Passion Gluttony Direction of Integration Type Five Direction of Disintegration Type One
Sevens, the most energetic of all Enneagram types, are a source of imagination and freedom in the world.
Sevens are perpetually looking for distractions and opportunities to stay as far away as possible from their inner aches.
The Basic Fear of the Seven is of dispossession and deprivation. Scarcity of options and opportunity creates tremendous anxiety for Sevens. They are terrified of being stuck with their own pain, so they stay overly active to stave off the inner ache
