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February 15 - October 6, 2018
Virtue Intention = Basic Desire
Virtue Compulsion = Basic Fear But our Basic Desire, a good and holy drive in and of itself, too often becomes warped by our insecurities and doubts that we can ever find our way home. This mentality feeds into our Basic Fear—that we’ll never return to our True Self and that we’ll stay stuck in the dream, just as Dorothy got stuck in Oz. This fear is experienced as a compulsion, thus our “Virtue Compulsion.” Like all fears, it is only as powerful as we allow it to be. But like all fears, it clouds our vision of our True Self and our way home.
TYPE ONE Holy Idea Holy Perfection Virtue Serenity Basic Desire To be good, to have integrity Basic Fear Being bad, imbalanced, defective, corrupt Fixation Resentment Passion Anger Direction of Integration Type Seven Direction of Disintegration Type Four
But the anger of the One isn’t rage so much as the exasperating annoyance that everything around them (and more intensely, everything inside them) is flawed. And tragically, they put unrealistic pressure on themselves to be the one to fix and correct it all. This constant frustration with all that has gone awry is immediately obvious to them, and what’s amiss about anything is usually the first thing they notice.
Ones are also idealists, clinging to the notion that a perfect world is possible, but they are the problem because they can’t align themselves with their own ideals of perfection.
When a One leans into their Nine wing, we see how their eye for virtue is really a drive to reconcile all things, be they sacred or mundane. With a developed Nine wing, Ones learn to be understanding and accepting of themselves and others. As Ones lean into their Two wing, they view their drive for excellence as a gift to be granted to others, an offering of integrity to the world.
In their path toward integration, Ones are drawn into the playful energy of the Seven, and their imaginations are sparked and their dreams renewed. As they borrow the positive traits of the Seven, they let themselves off the hook...
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In disintegration, Ones believe their own lie that they alone are the only ones who understand and value excellence—that no one else has the capacity to grasp what is required for goodness to be actualized in the world.
Finally, when Ones learn to rest and open themselves to undeserved grace, their Virtue of serenity blossoms. Centered Ones reflect integrity and goodness, and the peacefulness with which they offer those things is disarming and inviting.
TYPE SEVEN Holy Idea Holy Wisdom, Holy Work, Holy Plan Virtue Sobriety Basic Desire To be satisfied Basic Fear Being trapped in pain and deprivation Fixation Planning Passion Gluttony Direction of Integration Type Five Direction of Disintegration Type One
As Father Richard suggested, the Eight exemplifies the fundamental need to be against. Eights are against everything. Even when they agree, they’ll find a way to turn anything into combat or sparring. This is how Eights build trust—through pushing and fighting. It’s their attempt to size up the trustworthiness of others, an unconscious way of determining if people will stand up to them by standing up for themselves.
Nines are calm, cool, and collected. Nines are by nature understanding and make excellent arbitrators, mediators, and referees because they have an innate ability to understand almost every perspective. Because of this profound capacity to understand others, it’s hard for them to take a position or hold an opinion, especially if it’s contrary to that of their partner or community.
Cynthia Bourgeault, in her recent book The Heart of Centering Prayer: Nondual Christianity in Theory and Practice,
Our specific prayer intention—the inner disposition we bring to support our contemplative prayer posture—helps us wake up from the slumber of illusions around our identity and relationships. Waking up is the first step in the spiritual journey, a courageous alternative to the fantasies we fashion to keep us asleep.
The sixteenth-century Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross wrote, “Silence is God’s first language.”
In silence, I’m forced to face myself, allowing all my fears, shame, guilt, regrets, disappointments, doubts, and resentments to come to the surface.
It’s not enough to just become an Enneagram enthusiast. Real transformation takes place when we pair the self-awareness that the Enneagram stimulates with the silence of contemplative practice. Then our unique path to spiritual growth emerges, and we will never be the same. In silence, the gifts of our identity begin to emerge—this is one of the hallmark fruits of contemplative practice. Of course, we have to fight for it.
Essentially, the Enneagram teaches us how to be more human. It is one of the most profound tools for personal and spiritual transformation. And to make the most of its offerings, we are invited to move beyond identifying our type toward putting this knowledge to work—to form a new identity, or perhaps more accurately, to reclaim our original identity. The Enneagram helps us find our unique path to spiritual growth, and this path is ultimately how we find our way home.
This, I believe, is the true nature of conversion: it happens not in a single moment or pivotal event but in a lifelong series of minor deaths. It is what Jesus spoke plainly of: “If you wish to come after me, you must deny your very selves, take up the instrument of your own death and follow in my footsteps” (Matthew 16:24).
In his beautiful poem “A Servant to Servants,” Robert Frost suggests that “the best way out is always through,” and this wisdom is especially apt in connection with the Enneagram. The best way out of our deceptive self-illusion is through hard inner work.
This is hard . . . it seems almost impossible. But Love, found in the silence, carries us through the agony of loss. Love returns us to the possibilities of life. As the prayer of Saint Francis reminds us, “It is in dying that we are born into eternal life.”
true activists do not simply throw themselves at a cause for the sake of the cause without first allowing a passion or focus to provide some sort of anchor or grounding point.
Silence actually teaches us to listen. It helps us learn how to listen to the voice of God, a voice we maybe have not been able to recognize.
In all of his winsome wisdom, Cistercian monk Father Thomas Keating writes: This is the human condition—to be without the true source of happiness which is the experience of the presence of God, and to have lost the key to happiness which is the contemplative dimension of life, the path to the increasing assimilation and enjoyment of God’s presence. What we experience is our desperate search for happiness where it cannot be found . . . [the key] was not lost outside ourselves. It was lost inside ourselves. This is where we need to look for it.7
Western society is on the front side of a major renewal in prioritizing and finding value in contemplative practice. For example, we see mindfulness, meditation, and yoga showing up everywhere—mindfulness at technology conferences, meditation in public schools, and even yoga in prisons. Do a quick internet search and you’ll see articles about contemplative practice showing up throughout popular media. What the rest of the world is discovering is that mindfulness connects us with our head, meditation opens our hearts, and yoga reconnects us with our bodies.
Responding to a call into service is important, we realized, but we became especially interested in the ways that people move from merely sustaining their work to thriving in their areas of service.
Through the support of teachers and guides, including Father Thomas and Father Richard, Phileena and I began to realize that grounding our social action in contemplative spirituality was the only way to ensure both personal and community wholeness. And that could only happen by nurturing solitude, silence, and stillness in our practice of prayer.
We need practices that open us to this grace, this work of God.
Gut people who are obsessed with control, heart people who are obsessed with connections, and head people who are obsessed with competence all need to find freedom from the ways they deal with their inner dread.
When an instinctive type is forced to stop, they realize how overidentified they are with their drive to do. They are not free.
When we give ourselves to contemplative practices marked by solitude, silence, and stillness, our souls are nurtured, our Virtues blossom, and our True Self comes forward. Contemplative spirituality calms the body, stills the emotions, and quiets the mind. And in so doing, it liberates us from ego addictions, thereby giving us the freedom to make major corrections to our behaviors informed by our True Self.
One of the gifts of the contemplative life is acceptance.
faith is learning to rest in mystery.
Maybe true buft not for fundamentalists
Father Richard once told me, “To cast great light in the world also requires a long shadow.”
Recall Henri Nouwen’s three lies we discussed earlier in the book: “I am what I have,” “I am what I do,” “I am what other people say about me.”
The three temptations of Jesus correlate directly to the three affirmations spoken over him following his baptism. The first temptation, “If you are the Only Begotten, command these stones to turn into bread” (Matthew 4:3–4), gets at the lie I am what I do and the program for happiness of power and control. Certainly, if Jesus was God’s Child, he should be able to demonstrate that through his spectacular power. In the second temptation, the liar brings Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem and says, “If you are the Only Begotten, throw yourself down. Scripture has it, ‘God will tell the angels to
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In this journey we started with construction: learning about the Enneagram, discovering the way it is centered in triads, exploring the character-structure components, and reviewing the particularities of the nine types. A lot of people stop here, content in the construction phase, happy to understand the constructs of their identity. In this phase we find the contours of the shape of our sense of self. This self-awareness is crucial if we are to progress to the next phase.
Contemplative prayer is difficult; it requires practice. When Jesus reminds us to be like children, it is a clue that all of us will be lifelong beginners on the spiritual journey. Moving from practice to discipline is where we start to see the fruit of freedom from the lies, programs, and temptations. But listen to yourself: usually the way you judge yourself or “feel bad” about your practice is the very thing that begins to open your type to the graces of the practice.
(Seven). Harmony Triad Dominant Affect Group Prayer Posture Prayer Intention Type One Idealist Frustration Type Stillness Rest Type Two Relationist Rejection Type Solitude Consent Type Three Pragmatist Attachment Type Solitude Engage Type Four Idealist Frustration Type Solitude Rest Type Five Relationist Rejection Type Silence Consent Type Six Pragmatist Attachment Type Silence Engage Type Seven Idealist Frustration Type Silence Rest Type Eight Relationist Rejection Type Stillness Consent Type Nine Pragmatist Attachment Type Stillness Engage But
Finally, the Idealists (the Dominant Affect Groups’ Frustration types) will never attain their unrealistic idealized notions of what they desire. Always teetering between resignation and resistance, they find themselves perpetually exhausted both inside and out. Though they deserve it as much as anyone, the Idealists never allow themselves the much-needed respite required to find the truth of who they really are.
For many heart types, solitude is a trigger to deeper experiences of loneliness, but in solitude the fears associated with being alone can be faced without distractions. In this way, solitude heals even the most tender cracks in the hearts of the Feeling Center types.
For type One, resting in stillness is the tender gift of permission—permission to take a break from all of their inner frustration and resentment.
THE WAY HOME FOR TYPE ONE: Rest in Stillness Intelligence Center Body/Gut/Instinctive Harmony Triad Idealist Dominant Affect Group Frustration Prayer Posture Stillness Prayer Intention Rest Learning to develop compassion for oneself is crucial for Ones who live in their bodies as a prison of unattainable perfection, a place of perpetual disappointment as a result of their unrealistic expectations.
To press into greater freedom, Ones need to welcome the tension and frustration they carry in their bodies—often played out through the grinding of their jaws while sleeping, the knots in their backs, and the stress headaches they learn to live with—as invitations to integration.
stillness is crucial for Ones—although the simple invitation to stop, even for a moment, can seem impossible.
when Ones fail to externalize the impossibility of their internalized standards, not only do they project their irritation into their environments, but they end up having to pick up the pieces of the damaged relationships resulting from such misdirected frustrations.
In stillness, they learn to rest, to stop trying to fix everything and correct everyone, and to arrest their own inner criticisms and judgment. Ones have to receive stillness as a gift, a much-needed breather, allowing it to nurture inner tranquility through a conscious cessation from their perfectionistic drive.
When you have an overly emotional experience in daily life, take a moment to be still and silent and follow these steps: 1. Focus on, feel, and sink into the feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations, and commentaries in your body. Find your tension, tightness, soreness, or pressure and acknowledge it. 2. Welcome God into the feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations, or commentaries in your body. Pray with your somatic discomfort; ask what it is telling you about your fear or your sense of being out of control or your lack of trust or your anxiety. 3. When
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