The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: How to be Calm in a Busy World

by Haemin Sunim

The world isn’t inherently joyful or sad; it just is.

When we look at the outside world, we are looking at only a small part that interests us. The world we see is not the entire universe but a limited one that the mind cares about.

However, to our minds, that small world is the entire universe.

the world is experienced according to the state of one’s mind. When your mind is joyful and compassionate, the world is, too. When your mind is filled with negative thoughts, the world appears negative, too. When you feel overwhelmed and busy, remember that you are not powerless. When your mind rests, the world also rests.

When you are stressed out, be aware of your stress. When you are irritated, be aware of your irritation. When you are angry, be aware of your anger. As soon as you become aware of these feelings you are no longer lost in them.

Your awareness allows you to witness them from the outside. Awareness is inherently pure, like the open sky. Stress, irritation, and anger can temporarily cloud the sky, but they can never pollute it. Negative emotions come and go like clouds, but the wide-open sky remains.

Too many choices make people unhappy.

With love in our hearts, we find even the most mundane things sacred and beautiful. With love in our hearts, we become kinder and gentler, even to complete strangers.

When we are open to others, we dare to be vulnerable and honest. When we have goodwill toward others, we intend to be happy and connected.

When we are comfortable with ourselves and have accepted ourselves wholly, others will find us approachable and will like us for who we are.

Love yourself despite your imperfections. Do you not feel compassion for yourself as you struggle through life? You are so eager to help your friends, but you treat yourself so poorly.

The world will keep turning even without you. Let go of the idea that your way is the only way, that you are the only one who can make it happen.

The more grateful we feel, the happier we become. This is because gratitude helps us realize we are all connected. Nobody feels like an island when feeling grateful. Gratitude awakens us to the truth of our interdependent nature.

pure attention without judgment is not only the highest form of human intelligence, but also the expression of love. Observe the changing energy both attentively and lovingly as it unfolds in the space of your mind.

you awaken to this truth, you will not be swayed by negative emotions and can regard them as a passing cloud instead of identifying with them as a defining part of your self. Do not fight your negative emotions. Observe and befriend them.

“No person can be found Who has been, is, or will be Only criticized Or only praised.”

If I had to summarize the entirety of most people’s lives in a few words, it would be endless resistance to what is. As we resist, we are in constant motion trying to adjust, and yet we still remain unhappy about what is.

We change without realizing it. We are in the midst of change even now.

Do not lament that the world has changed. Do not resent that people have changed. Evaluating the present through the memories of the past can cause sadness. Whether you like it or not, change is inevitable. Embrace and welcome it.

If you are sincere about reaching enlightenment, you can learn even from a child, or from the person who insults you on the street. The entire world becomes your teacher.

Someone advanced in spiritual practice has the following attitude. In a large community, she lives as though she is alone. She minds her own business without meddling in others’. When alone, she acts as though she is in a large community. She follows her regimen without sliding into laziness.

When a deep, honest conversation makes us feel connected to someone, we become very happy. The same deep connection with ourselves is possible by wholly accepting who we are and realizing the enlightened nature of ourselves. This, too, is a source of incomparable happiness and freedom.

Remember that you are neither your feelings nor the story your mind tells about you to make sense of them. You are the vast silence that knows of their emergence and their disappearance.

When you wish to hear the voice of your subconscious, try meditation. Meditation opens a secret path to your subconscious.

Our consciousness may desire money, power, and prestige, but our subconscious desires selfless love, harmony, humor, beauty, sacredness, peace, and acceptance.

The most dangerous people are those who have passion but lack wisdom.

We must ask whether it was worthwhile if we make each other feel unhappy or hurt in the name of defending our beliefs. Instead of maintaining the sanctity of our values, shouldn’t we care more about the person sitting in front of us? Isn’t it better to be happy together than to be right alone?

If you consider only your side, you are no different from a child.

When you hear something that makes your blood boil, don’t shoot off a text or an e-mail right away. A wise person sleeps on it. An instant emotional reaction often leads to a regrettable outcome.

If the people around you always agree with you, they are probably opportunists, not loyalists.

If a client tries to control and monitor every detail, the professional cannot work at full capacity and feels inhibited. If you want the best result, watch with interest but know when to back off.

you think you are either superior or inferior to someone, an invisible wall goes up between you. Treat him like an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. When you let your guard down, so will he.

When we speak too much, it is easy to speak ill of someone. So

when you feel talkative, just be mindful.

If you try to lead people only by stressing rules and principles, they will leave you, one by one. A good leader knows this, and thus tries to cultivate virtue.

We can determine how close we are to someone by asking, “Can I act like a little kid in front of that person?” When we love someone, we feel like a little kid in our heart.

Wanting her to be a certain way is not love but your desire.

The more you know, the more you think you don’t. The more you don’t know, the more you think you do.

The biggest obstacle to learning is pretending to know even when you don’t. It is better to admit you don’t know something; if you pretend, you have to act as if you knew all along. It is easier to learn when you set aside your pride and are honest.

The compassionate gaze of the wounded soul is more beautiful than the naive smile of the inexperienced youth.

Why should we spend so many hours of our lives worrying about how we appear to others?

not everyone has to like me. After all, I do not like everyone.

Do not crowd your mind with “what ifs.” Uncomplicate your life and own up to your desires.

When someone does not like us, it is not our problem but theirs. Not everyone will like us. This is a problem only if we let it bother us.

A small adjustment can have a big effect on your life.

wise person thinks, “I don’t know the whole story.”

Help your child go deep in her area of interest.

There is no such thing as being completely prepared. Life is an adventure, through which we learn and mature. Of course, we must consider all our options carefully. But if we wait for 100 percent certainty, then it is often too late.

Dedication to one’s job should not be measured by how late one works or how often one forgoes a vacation but by how effectively one works and what kind of contribution one makes to the business.

We must cultivate all three intelligences for our overall health: critical intelligence, emotional intelligence, and spiritual intelligence. If one falls to the wayside, it slows the growth of the other two.