MYTH #5: LOVING SOMEONE MAKES IT OKAY TO CONTROL THEIR BEHAVIOR. This kind of territorial reasoning is designed, we guess, to make people feel secure, but we don’t believe that anybody has the right, much less the obligation, to control the behavior of another functioning adult. Being treated according to this myth doesn’t make us feel secure—it makes us feel furious. The old “Awww, she’s jealous—she must really care about me” reasoning is symptomatic of a very disturbed set of personal boundaries that can lead to a great deal of unhappiness.
