The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully

by Frank Ostaseski

I agreed to help, provided we would make every attempt to learn what the teacher actually needed. I asked her to look and listen carefully to what the teacher was telling her. “Oh, but I can’t,” Crystal replied. “She’s in a partial coma. She can’t talk.” “Look more closely. Is she perspiring?” I asked. “Yes,” Crystal said. “Then go get a cool washcloth and place it gently on her head. She’s telling you that she has a fever.” “Okay,” she said. I asked, “Is she grimacing with any obvious signs of pain?” “No,” Crystal replied. “Wonderful. Then let’s try the next step,” I advised. “How is her breathing?” “It’s very fast, somewhat erratic,” she said. “Sit quietly beside her, following the rhythm of her breath. Breathe in as she breathes in; breathe out as she breathes out. There is no need to guide her. Just accompany her. In this way, you can provide a kind and loving presence, patiently attending to the moment-to-moment changes in her experience.”